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    Barbiexo5678's Avatar
    Barbiexo5678 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 17, 2012, 09:19 AM
    Is it right for me to date a friends ex boyfriend?
    I hooked up with a guy that I really like now, and after the time went on he told me that he has feelings for me. With me being a good friend, I told one of my best friends (which was the guys ex girlfriend), that we hooked up. I was being straight up, and honest with her about everything that happened. Its been about 3 years since them two were in a relationship, and plus she has had a boyfriend who she loves, for the past 2 years. She brushed it off, and told me "oh I don't care at all it's totally fine, I hate him now." With that being said, I wasn't as scared about what she would say to me or anyone else. I was fine thinking that we were still close friends and nothing could split us apart. After a few days, I found out her and my other "friend" we're talking about me. Saying things like "she turned into a whore" "oh, she gets around" and "wow way to get my sloppy seconds"
    I was completely hurt by all of this, considering she basically told me to my face that it was fine for me to go for him.
    What should I do?
    Should I keep my thing going with this guy who I really like? Because I can't stand my so called friends being two faced.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Aug 17, 2012, 09:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Barbiexo5678 View Post
    I hooked up with a guy that I really like now, and after the time went on he told me that he has feelings for me. With me being a good friend, I told one of my best friends (which was the guys ex girlfriend), that we hooked up. I was being straight up, and honest with her about everything that happened. Its been about 3 years since them two were in a relationship, and plus she has had a boyfriend who she loves, for the past 2 years. She brushed it off, and told me "oh I don't care at all it's totally fine, I hate him now." With that being said, I wasn't as scared about what she would say to me or anyone else. I was fine thinking that we were still close friends and nothing could split us apart. After a few days, I found out her and my other "friend" we're talking about me. Saying things like "she turned into a whore" "oh, she gets around" and "wow way to get my sloppy seconds"
    I was completely hurt by all of this, considering she basically told me to my face that it was fine for me to go for him.
    What should I do?
    Should I keep my thing going with this guy who I really like? Because I can't stand my so called friends being two faced.

    I personally would never date a friend's "ex." That is just me.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #3

    Aug 17, 2012, 09:42 AM
    I guess they aren't friends anymore; date the guy, she broke off with him years ago and 'she hates him' (totally immature). Why should you bother what they are saying if it isn't true.

    In my younger day, she would have been walking around with my foot up her butt if I had heard that comment about sloppy seconds. I don't know how you young girls nowadays handle being talked about that way without some kind of retaliation to set the record straight!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2012, 02:09 PM
    Is this the same man? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-676650.html

    How long ago did you break-up with the man you were seeing at the end of June?

    If this is the same man, how long ago did he break-up with his girlfriend of two years? Did you 'hook-up' while he was still dating the other female?

    If it is not the same man, then slow down. Jumping from one person to the next isn't good. You need time to move on from even a short relationship and you have the added complication of 'being in love with your friend for two years.'

    Less than two months ago, you were in one relationship and talking about having sex with another man (who was in a two-year relationship.) Now, you have 'hooked-up' with this man who you want a relationship with. If he isn't the man you contemplated cheating with, what happens when that man/friend pops up again?

    I really think you need to stop and think instead of acting on emotion and lust. I am less concerned about you dating a friend's ex than I am that you might be contemplating dating a cheater or end up becoming one because you aren't reading the warning signs.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Aug 17, 2012, 02:22 PM
    Good catch - I don't know what "names" are and are not appropriate, but I can understand the anger of her "friends."

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