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brgirlbr · Aug 14, 2012, 08:48 PM

I am a single mom I have a son of 3 months old leaving in NJ and my ex wants to have him on his house for about 4 hours but I don't trust him. Can I keep the visitations to happen only in my house until he is older? His name is not on the birth certificate.

J_9 · Aug 14, 2012, 08:50 PM

What does your court order specify?

brgirlbr · Aug 14, 2012, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

What does your court order specify?

I didn't go to the court yet, I am trying not go to court. I just don't know my right

Fr_Chuck · Aug 14, 2012, 09:10 PM

You have the right to go to court. He has the right to go to court.

And both of you should.

Often the courts will not make him visit the child at YOUR home with YOU there. He has a right to other visit, At times it may be at specific vistation centers if your city or area has them.

But courts often do restrict visits to short times, but may allow them outside of the home.

As the child gets older, of course the father will get full weekends at his home, and other days also.

What is it about him, that you don't trust?

brgirlbr · Aug 14, 2012, 09:36 PM

He has said strange stuff like when I broke up with him he told me that he had tried suicide once. He say things and at the same time he says he didn't say it. I really can stand him. Our relationship less for less then 2 month.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 15, 2012, 06:12 AM

Does not matter that you can't stand him, he was OK for you to have sex with and now for the rest of your child's life ( or your life) you will have to deal with him from time to time.

People breaking up say strange and hurtful things.

You are going to have to accept the fact he is going to get visits with his child. ** yes it is his child also.

In fact he could even try latter for joint custody, him having the child 1/2 the time, you 1/2 the time, this is getting more and more common now a days.

If he is only asking for some very minor visitiation, I would get into court and get that into writing and be happen

brgirlbr · Aug 15, 2012, 01:46 PM

I understand that he can have to deal with but my problem is that the baby is just 2 month old, so I want to know if I can keep the visitation at my house at until baby is like 8 month old.

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2012, 01:55 PM

Probably not. You can probably keep it to a few hours at a time, but you decided to have sex with this person. Was he untrustworhty then? If so why did you have sex with him?

brgirlbr · Aug 15, 2012, 02:56 PM

We do stupid things. My question is not why did had sex with. But thank u for the answer anyway

ScottGem · Aug 15, 2012, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by brgirlbr

my question is not why did had sex with.

But that is a question the courts will ask. It is a reality that you have to deal with.

The father has the SAME rights that you do. Until a court orders otherwise you have equal rights. He could take the child and keep her, at least until a court rules otherwise. So your best bet is to get a court to decide what's best for your child.