[mysocalledlife]

I’m due to give birth near the end of June 2008 in Kansas and have a terrible dilemma on my hands. The father of my unborn child lives out of state (GA) and is demanding that I sign an agreement prior to the baby’s birth allowing him to take the baby 4 solid months out of the year for each year up until she reaches 5. He is also demanding that she have her own room prior to birth and that when she is old enough, that I pay up 1/3 while he pays the other 2/3rd’s for private school. I have three other daughters by a previous marriage whom I’m the primary caregiver to and they attend public school. I don’t make the kind of money that he does to afford for private school.

I intend to breastfeed her for a year and if he takes her out of state for four months solid that will be destroyed. I’ve voiced my concerns and told him to consider relocating to the same state for visitation but he’s adamant that he will be granted that length of time. Is this correct? He and I were never married and he’s in the process of getting a divorce. Might I add that he has severe mental issues and I fear for this baby being alone with him. He hits himself and puts his fist and head through walls. I have this documented with a police officer as it happened quite frequently around me while we were living together in Virginia. He even swung out and managed to hit my stomach when I was three months pregnant. Should I get a restraining order or request supervised visitation for him? I’m scared of this man and just want to be left alone to raise our daughter.

[queenetta]

For one there is no way I would let my baby be alone with him whatsoever. He has a right to see his child by law but if you show the police report to any judge or child services then there is no way that he could get this baby from you. I would get a restraining order against him if I was you. If he does this to his self then there is no telling what he could do to you, your children, or your unborn child. You have to protect your family. So my guess would be get a restraining order. But if you don't want to get a restraining order against him I would request for an supervised visitation right cause once again he does have a right to see his child. ONLY if he has supervised visitation.

[ScottGem]

First, Custody and visitation have to be approved by a Family Court. So anything you sign would be voided by the courts. Second, anything you sign prior to the birth is also worthless.

You need to get an attorney and, as soon as you give birth, you file for full custody. Tell the court you are willing to allow supervised visits. You also need to document the violence.