[lauradayan]

Hi, please help me. My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me. I am not proud of having gone through his phone but in two years I never did that and this time I just had a feeling. I confronted him and for a whole day instead of keeping silent I kept bombarding him with angry texts and calls making him feel like crap. At first he seemed to want to be with me after I found out but after all my fighting he said that he wanted a week break. During that week he texted me constantly and when it was over he just basically shut down didn't pick up his phone, and then told me over text goodbye because he is too embarrassed to face me. Two years and he ends it with a text?? I feel like its my fault that I gave him such a hard time and that I made him shut down and not want to deal with my drama. What can I do? I told him that I got past my anger and that I love him in my heart and forgive him but he kept saying that I can do better and that he can't say goodbye to me face to face because he is too embarrassed... even after I basically begged him to allow me to forgive him. Here is the catch: he has not trusted me for a long time because a year ago he caught me cheating emotionally with a good friend. I did it because my boyfriend never cared or paid attention to me at that time and I was very young and needy. When he found out I begged and begged for forgiveness cried and never did something like that again. What can I do? Ps. Despite our constant fighting before the whole cheating thing (which I'm sure lead him to want a break even more) we have had great moments and he has been a wonderful guy at times. Treated me well and always bought me things, but we had lots of little arguments and problems along the way. I am not ready to sy goodbye.

[jinxxxy]

Hay girl! This is a very hard situation! From my point of view I'd say you have to let go of this boy. He did wrong, he was hiding these things from you! And if you take him back now after what he did he will know he can just do it again because you love him too much to let anything come between you even if it is something this big as cheating.. And I know you don't want to hear this > let him go because you love him.. This is what makes love blind.. You care and love him too much to let go! Think about it carefully! Another thing is, how are you going to trust him after this? And a relationship with no trust... Won't work! Here's a quote for you "Without communication, there's no relationship, without Respect there is no love, without TRUST, there is NO reason to continue... You can find a perfect guy that treats you like the only girl in the world! Believe me they do exist! Good luck hay

[ali18ninja]

Well it can be one of two things. He's telling the truth about being embarrassed and not wanting to face you again OR he's trying to make it seem that way so he can go on doing his own thing again without feeling guilty of cheating. Perhaps he has already let you go. In either case, cheating was a horrible mistake on both your parts. I don't quite understand what you meant by cheating emotionally but that doesn't give him a freebie to cheat. You didn't deserve a second chance either if you cheated in some manner but at least you two moved forward from it. Regardless, that doesn't change the situation. You did make him feel horrible for it and in a sense, you are justified but that doesn't mean you should have. See, a mature adult would have expressed how hurt and/or angry you are in a discussion but not as a means to guilt him and make him feel low. He made a mistake and a dreadful one, but that's now how you resolve things. I'm sure you just wanted him to feel guilty about himself and feel horrible the way you felt as a sort of "revenge" but you didn't mean for it to go this far because you never intended to break up with him. The only thing you really can do is try to talk to him about this whole situation or move on and start over with someone else. Time DOES heal and it seems hopeless right now because of how much you love him. But you won't always have it your way. I hope you figure things out. Good luck.