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amberpock · Jul 20, 2012, 01:26 PM

For as long as I can remember my mum has constantly blamed me for everything. The other day she even blamed being out in the rain on me.

I can't talk to her without starting a fight and its really getting me down. I feel like I really hate my own mum.

How can I deal with this?

joypulv · Jul 20, 2012, 01:50 PM

I don't have any real words of wisdom. I had a mean, bitter mother who found fault with me for just about everything, despite being a 'good' girl, top of my class, reading a lot, doing activities, popular, got full scholarship to top school (all for her, I realized later, and it didn't make her happy).
What you have to try to do is see her as a person with her own problems. Maybe she feels trapped by her life, bitter about your father (is he in the picture)? Not that it helps much in the heat of the moment. I hid as much as I could, reading. Plan your future!

amberpock · Jul 20, 2012, 01:52 PM

She and my step father are really happy together. I don't understand what I'm always doing wrong!

chiradeep · Jul 20, 2012, 02:55 PM

Just ask her, ''mom I love you, just tell me how can I make you happy, I want to do that for you... ''

Don't hate your mom. All the best.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 20, 2012, 03:23 PM

Women can get birth, not all can be good mothers.

Why was it your fault for her being in the rain, were you suppose to do something and she had to go do it? Did she have to go out and get you, I mean was it your fault?

joypulv · Jul 20, 2012, 03:47 PM

Ask her if you remind her of your father. Tell her it feels like she wishes you weren't around, or whatever it is you feel. Leave HER actions out of it (you blame me for everything), and just concentrate on telling her how YOU feel.

Not all parents know how to love. When we are children, we expect them to. After all they had us, right? No, they take out their problems and their unresolved lack of love from their parents out on you.

Your job (should you care to accept it) is to plan to break the chain and be a good mother. I chose not to have children. Good luck

klarsenartwork · Jul 20, 2012, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by amberpock

For as long as i can remember my mum has constantly blamed me for everything. The other day she even blamed being out in the rain on me.

I can't talk to her without starting a fight and its really getting me down. I feel like i really hate my own mum.

How can i deal with this?

Sounds like your mum is just plain angry. Directing it towards you isn't the smart thing to do but, we often hurt those we are closest to. You don't have the power to change her, but you can change how you react to her. Family counseling is often free and it is worth the time. If she is unwilling to go, you can go alone and it will help you deal with her.

klarsenartwork · Jul 20, 2012, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by amberpock

She and my step father are really happy together. I don't understand what I'm always doing wrong!

Your mother is human, not perfect. If you feel like you are always doing wrong because of what she says, you can take a daily inventory of yourself and grade yourself on how well you handled each day. You can do allot of positive self talk. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful, tell yourself you are smart, tell yourself you are worth loving, that you are not often wrong, and whatever other positive affirmations you need to hear. If you don't have positive friends or family make them, you can find what you need since your mother isn't able to provide it... yet.

amberpock · Jul 21, 2012, 01:35 AM

She blamed me for being out in the rain because she chose to go shopping and asked me to come along.

Also, I could never ask her if I reminded her of my father!

Gamed · Jul 21, 2012, 01:53 AM

Most teens think their parents are harsh. I hear at least 10 girls a day say their mom blames them for everything. My mom got mad at me for getting blood on my jordans from my cuts after boxing. Do I hate my mom and cry about it? NO because her pointing out all my flaws and being harsh and blaming me for everything made me a grown up not a dependent child.

joypulv · Jul 21, 2012, 08:52 AM

I'm curious to know why you can't ask her if you remind her of your father? A lot of times that's the source of the anger, even if not directly or even if not consciously aware of it.

If you can't ask her and wait for a reply, tell her you are sorry you are a reminder of her time with him. Let us know what she says to that.

10longj · Jul 22, 2012, 08:32 AM

Talk to her, sit down, and discuss your problems, but try not to be to public with your arguments, because you might end up in care, and trust me llife in care is NOT nice at all

amberpock · Aug 2, 2012, 10:42 AM

Your making us sound like horrible people. I am a normal child from a good family. We're not this council estate family with social services on our back all the time.

We're just like everyone else. Please stop treating me like I'm a bad child with bad parents. She's a great mum.

As well, I've never wanted to ask properly about my father because I don't want to upset my mum, and no. I am NOT this horrible constant reminder of him

amberpock · Aug 2, 2012, 10:44 AM

I would never argue with my mum the way your thinking. I've never shouted at her and I wouldn't dream of causing a scene in public. There's no reason whatsoever for social services to get involved!