[Pr3tty_in_pink]

Why do men think when you tell them to stop watching/looking at porn that it means stop masturbating altogether?

[Pr3tty_in_pink]

Is there such thing as looking at porn without masturbating? My boyfriend tried to convince me he only used it for masturbating so that meant he didn't really like it.

[ScottGem]

The real question is; What does what your boyfriend does alone in private matter so much to you? Why are you forcing him to lie to you?

[Pr3tty_in_pink]

The real question is; What does what your boyfriend does alone in private matter so much to you? Why are you forcing him to lie to you?

Because I don't like his interest in porn when in a relationship.

[ScottGem]

Because i dont like his interest in porn when in a relationship.

But that is YOUR problem not his. If you don't like what he does, then find a new boyfriend. Or maybe the problem is you don't do enough to satisfy him so he has to seek outlets elsewhere. Would you prefer that he gets his pleasure from another woman?

[Pr3tty_in_pink]

But that is YOUR problem not his. If you don't like what he does, then find a new boyfriend. Or maybe the problem is you don't do enough to satisfy him so he has to seek outlets elsewhere. Would you prefer that he gets his pleasure from another woman?

He claims he was already horny and used it for visual stimulation, if he liked me enough he would have thought about me.

[ScottGem]

Maybe he needed more than thoughts.

[Fr_Chuck]

Porn is common, you have no right to even ask him to stop, esp since it does not appear to be hurting your sex life with him.

He may lie to you that he will stop but he will not, so you need to find a way to deal with it, or find a new boyfriend who hides it better , ( they all will watch some) some are better at hiding and lying

[smoothy]

Why do men think when you tell them to stop watching/looking at porn that it means stop masturbating altogether?

Because you have no right or business telling him what he can watch or not. You aren't his mom or his boss.

That's exactly what they think... because its true.

[CravenMorhead]

Hi. I am pro porn. Just in case what I am about to say doesn't give it away.

There are a few you need to know about porn, but first we need to differentiate male arousal from female arousal. Men are visual creatures. Women are more emotional or intellectual. A good romantic comedy or a racy romance novel will get you going good. Seeing boobs or what not will get a guy going. I hate to say it but we are simple creatures.

This is a fundamental difference between the sexes. You can't apply a female standard to a man, just as he can't apply the same standard to you. Sending a picture of his junk isn't going to do anything for you.

So with that said you also need to understand a few things about masturbation. It is a private moment to get off. There is only one person involved and only one person to take of. There isn't the concern about if you're turned on, or if you are at the right angle, or whatever. It is just between him and his hand. He isn't doing this to spite you nor is he doing it because you aren't sufficient. He is doing it because it is relaxing and kind of scratches an itch. Kind of like a bubble bath.

I kind of touched on this but I will say it again. He isn't looking at porn because you're deficient. The porn is a seed of a fantasy. Not a "He thrust her to the floor; bosom heaving." kind of fantasy but a more... simple or primal. He isn't envisioning having sex with *that* woman but just envisioning getting off. All pron provides is that seed of fantasy.

So you need to realize a few things.
1). This isn't a reflection or hint of dissatisfaction with you. He is still with you. Loves seeing you naked and if I recall your sex life is still good.
2). He loves you.
3). If you try to stop him from doing this than he will find another way. It just will hurt more when you find out. All that does is force us to try to be more clever.
4). He loves you and all your lumps, bumps, and imperfections.

Porn isn't harmful unless it is done to excess or that the type is dangerous. Child porn or anything in that vein is dangerous, but watching a couple go at it... not harmful. I understand that you can feel insecure about the women he is looking at or even worried that you don't measure up. He isn't making that comparison.

Relax a little take a deep breath. Just ignore it and ask that he not look at it in your company. Don't look for it, just accept that it's there. Everything will be good. Trust me.

[ScottGem]

Hi. I am pro porn.

Very good response.

I'd like to add that there are several levels to what some might consider porn. There is a difference in a woman displaying her body and a couple engaging in a sex act. You don't describe what he was using (nor do we want it described) but that difference can be significant.