[missinghim12]

Hi everyone. I wonder if I could have some advice?

I was with someone for 15 months, who is 'emotionally unavailable'. Despite this, we had fantastic chemistry and phoned and texted each other very regularly, and had just the best time whenever we were together. We had a huge disagreement two weeks ago, when I told him that I was tired of never knowing where I stood with him, or the next time I would see him again. I over-reacted to something he said, and got the wrong end of the stick, but that was just because he wouldn't make the situation clear. I sent him a really nasty text message because I was just at the end of my tether with his games, but everything I said in the text was factually correct. I also said that I didn't want to hear from him again.

Fast forward two weeks, and I can still barely sleep over this guy. I am so very sorry for the way things have ended, and even though he has treated me so badly, I still miss his contact terribly, and just how amazing he was to be around. Do I try to resolve this in any way? I feel that if we don't talk, and soon, then the moment will be gone and we will never re-connect on any level. I didn't think it was possible to miss anyone as much as I miss him, but if he has moved on/forgotten me how much worse could I feel if I contacted him and got nothing, or as nasty a text message as I sent him, in return? Or do I just think, that what I said was justified, and if he felt anything for me he would have been in touch by now? I never thought that I would ever get involved with a 'player', but he is well known for this. Never ever meant to fall in love with him, but that's what's happened.

Do I walk away knowing that I have told the truth, and hope I'll find someone who'll treat me as I deserve to be treated, or do I listen to my heart and at the very least apologise for how personal that last angry text message was, knowing that he probably won't accept my apology, and even if he did, he wouldn't want to be in my life? I love him very much, and I can't accept that I'll never be with him again, but maybe that's exactly what I do have to face.

Sorry that this has gone on for so long; I'd be so grateful for your advice. I'm just beating myself up over this time and time again.

Many thanks x