[gemima047]

I'm in an 8 year old relationship. Great time we have had with problems alone the way but after 8 years I still want to be with him and love him dearly.

The problem is our circumstance. I have two teenage children, 16 and 19. My daughter doesn't like him and caused a lot of problems when we said we were going to move in with one another... it couldn't happen.

My son has now gone to UNi and my bright daughter I'm sure will also go to Uni, which is what she wants.

My partner says we can wait until she has gone to Uni to be together. He has put another hurdle to cross in our way though. He wants to move to the coast, lovely I'm thinking but he wants to go this summer to buy a property. Again I thought that OK.

Today he told me that the property that he buys will need furnishing etc. and that he would be there sometime, that I could come down and visit him there and he would come back to see me.

I blew up. It's been a strain not been with him, now he wants to take himself 200 miles away. I told him I wouldn't tolerate this. I feel that he would probably meet someone else there because I feel uncertain about the relationship.

I feel uncertain about the relationship because he really needs not to live alone anymore, he keeps telling that. He keeps blaming my daughter for us not been together.

Do I walk away from what seems to be a relationship that can not be resolved to a satisfactory conclusion. I think that if he wants to be with me he won't go until I can go with him.

Now he is changing his story 'I'll rent it out then until you can come with me' but then he brings my daughter up again saying I haven't got time for him.

Does he want to end it?

[talaniman]

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it seems to be you with the problem, and your making problems, where there may be none. From what you wrote, he is building a future nest for you both, and your not helping with the insecurity and doubts.

[Washington1]

I agree with talaniman!

I say, give it (your relationship) a chance.

If you have other reasons to believe he's going to jump ship with another woman, then try living with him first, and see how it goes. If you can afford it, try keeping your home before putting all your apples into this deal.

[JBeaucaire]

Family first. He is right, you two aren't together because of the son/daughter. And that is the correct way it should be.

If he wants to move ahead and start working on your life to come, you're going to stop him? Doesn't make a lot of sense.

Love is something you give, not demand.
Security is something you demonstrate, not fret.
Trust is something you offer, not require be proven.

If this is all going to be about you, then make it about you giving good into this current family and your future with this man. Be strong, confident, and let him do what he needs to do.

[jrsg]

I agree with the above, especially after 8 years. Be a bit more understanding.