[confusedgirl000]

Moved to its own question



The guy I am with wants to be best friends and let the friendship progress. We make out and stay over and he does lots of "boyfriend" stuff like cook for me, iron my clothes, help me clean my room, etc. He says he is not ready for a relationship as he needs to build up a career. We are both 25. I don’t mind going slow as long as later he is ready to call me his girlfriend. If he is not ready for relationships now, will he ever be ready?

The fact is that we are a part of a large friends circle since the last 1 year and we hooked up just 2 months ago. We have decided to keep this to ourselves. People in the group think we are a couple but we deny it saying that we are just friends because have not defined ourselves yet.

The boy wants to spend time all his free time with me and even talk about the future. Most of the time I am included in the future but sometimes I am not. There is no other girl and I know this for sure as we are close friends.

I know 2 months is a short time. How long should I wait for until we can define the relationship between us?

[talaniman]

Its already been defined, its just friends because he has greater priorities. You allow him to claim your time, kiss, cuddle, etc. Of course you want a title, commitment, being monogamous, and all that. I think you should set boundaries that reflect your status, rather than push status without boundaries after only two months.

You either enjoy your casual friendship and see what happens, or you keep a safe emotional distance and not get carried away by wants, and hopes so soon.

I think if things go well in for about 6 months, you evaluate the next step. Until then, pay attention, and keep your life balanced with other things besides him. Some of the stuff he does is not boyfriend stuff but nice friendly stuff, but some is definitely friends with benefits, or the early stages. Of this you should be cautious, and I hope sex isn't a factor yet.