[HmmWhat2Do]

Ok so 7 years into a relationship and out of the blue my ex tells me that he wants to take a break. The first 5 years were great.. the last to the flame started to fizzle and he would no longer take me out or come to family functions. He started to focus all on the gym and pumping iron. Well come to find out he has a new girlfriend about 2 weeks later.. (which now I found out he was with her for about 2 months) and that he is just dating her and he is not looking for anything serious. It sounds to me he is just looking for a confidence boost. He tells me he loves me and see's me as the one he ends up with but that he doesn't want to get married anytime soon. Right now he just wants to have fun. Keep in mind that I was his first everything. He claims that he knows I will always be there for him and always be in his life, that he loves me and knows that I am the one and that we will eventually end up together.. (please).. he claims that he is just in a phase. He says he wants me to date other people but not to get serous.. right.. I love him to death and miss him like crazy and wonder how I can love such a selfish person. Anyway its true I can't seem to cut ties with him, I try to let him know that he is risking losing me but he claims if its meant to be we will be. With everything said and done I'm trying to get some feedback about what people think will happen if I cut off all contact? Do you think he will eventually realize what he lost?

[kctiger]

He is dating another girl and you are still talking to him? Don't you think there is something wrong with that? Seems to me you may be the confused one here.

You CAN cut all ties, it is just a question of whether you will or not. Don't be a dog on a leash to a guy who is clearly not into you anymore. You deserve better.

[I wish]

Wow, you seem like a nice girl and I'm thinking that you don't deserve him.

First of all, he's saying all the crap because he's not sure what he wants. He's keeping you around as a safety net. If it doesn't work out with other people, you're his backup plan.

I know that 7 years is a lot and there's a lot of history. But he seems like he's moved on from his feelings for you. You're his safe and comfortable girl. He wants new and exciting, at least for now.

You really need to move on from him. I know that it is your first relationship and you feel like you love him a lot. One problem that a lot of people have with their first break up is that they don't know when to let go. A lot of couples end up dragging out their relationship cause they're too scared to break up. Sounds like your relationship was going downhill after 5 years and you guys just dragged it out.

Furthermore, the trust is gone. How do you know if he chooses to get back with you that he will not want to break up again and try something new? You can't let him play around with your feelings like that. You deserve more respect than that.

Do not contact him anymore so that you can start healing from this relationship.

[MiSSsy111222]

Well I think if you cut contact you will slowly heal and you will realise that you deserve better than being the back up girl.

Use NC time wisely and look at the realationship, use this time to think clearly and ask yourself if this is the kind of man you want.

I will also point out that love is lasting, no breaks are needed and you definitely don't want to be with anyone else to experience some "fun".

[talaniman]

I'm trying to get some feedback about what people think will happen if I cut off all contact? Do you think he will eventually realize what he lost?

I think you will realize you deserve better.