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chives2000 · Jun 13, 2012, 05:44 AM

Hello, I was with my girlfriend for 10 months before she decided to break-up with me :( I will explain the details now.
We were good friends before we got together, not amazing friends but we always talked at parties and friendly gatherings etc.
The first time I met her I instantly liked her but never thought I stood a chance so I let the opportunity pass me by. She ended up going out with some guy that treated her badly and ended within 3 months.
3 months later we were at a party again and she was hanging with me a lot, I thought nothing of this until I walked her home and kissed her goodnight.
It went well from their, we went on a few dates until we finally decided to get together, it was going well for ages, I always use to go to her house and hang out with her for hours, I was always sad to leave and she always seemed sad when I left. We only ever saw each other twice a week because I always had work she was busy finishing her A-Levels and didn't want to be the guy that distracted her from her work and not make it to university. It was 7 months down the line and I noticed her starting to sort of go cold on me, I went round one day and she was quite quiet, I had force conversation out her and it was never like that, it always flowed constantly. She kept saying she was tired and just a little stressed from work and it was nothing. I just decided to accept this and leave it be.
Then I went round again the next week and she was the same, I then asked her again if something was up and she kept answering everything was fine until I threatened to leave and that's when she came out with it, she said she was having doubts about the relationship. So we talked for hours, she said she was feeling stressed with all her coursework and lately depressed about everything, this hurt me bad so she said she needed a couple of days to think about it. I was distraught but I said I would give her the time that she needed.
I spent the next day moping in my bedroom thinking we were finished for good :( She then text me late that night saying she misses me already and loves me and she knows what she wants.
So we met up 2 days later talked and got back together, it was 3 months of bliss, everything was going well again and back to what it use to be. Until her exams started to draw nearer and she went cold on me again, I knew what it was like last time so this time and I didn't question it and asked a straight answer, she said it again, she said she was having doubts again and didn't know if she loved me, she said that she was finding it difficult to concentrate on revision for her final exams, this hurt me bad but I decided to stay and talk to her. Next minute we are making love, I was confused!
She took a further 2 days to re-think things which felt like a lifetime. She text me after those 2 days, I went round and then she broke it to me, she said it wasn't fair to keep me waiting for an answer when she still doesn't know how she feels about me, she said she doesn't want to think about this during her exams and I totally understand that. So I stayed and talked it through for again and then we were making love again, she said at that moment she could tell me she loved me but then she wasn't sure if her mind would change in a couple of days.
So I left, it has been 2 weeks since we broke up and its killing me :( I feel dead inside and don't know what to do? I've tried everything to take my mind off things but somehow it always gets linked back to her :( I keep thinking theirs a chance of us getting back together. We have been in touch briefly, I've kept the texts friendly and I've told her I've missed her a couple of times, she has always responded with I miss you too but I find it hard to imagine this a genuine response. I sent her sweet good luck message on her exams because they start today and she said it mean't a lot to her.
I just don't know what to do? Should I move on? I feel like the more time she spends away from me she will forget me :( I don't want that to happen? Someone please help? Is it over for good?

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 13, 2012, 06:18 AM

This isn't a major breakup, it's only a major breakup because you allow it to be. You went out for 7 months, before she left you the first time, which should have been the last. You shouldn't have gotten back together with her in the first place. If it doesn't work out the first time why would it a second?

Take this as a new step in life, a new chapter. Go no contact with her, and move on with your life. Spend time with your friends go try some things you never did before, experience new thrills, just keep your mind busy and your body active and you'll soon forget, and let go.

mearbhall · Jun 16, 2012, 09:26 AM

What she's continually putting you through is not fair. She's using you as an emotional punching bag every time she's stressed about something. I think you should try to move on. Time IS a great healer and this sadness will pass.

talaniman · Jun 16, 2012, 10:22 AM

Break ups suck, and these first few days weeks, and months are torture. But we get through them as we accept our losses, and get ready for our future. Its not easy to break emotional attachments, especially the roller coaster up and down of the one you had, but eventually we get through it.

Don't go back again, just get to what you did with others before you shifted the focus to her. You tried, and did have some good times, but it just wasn't meant to be forever. Sorry for your loss, but better luck next time.

chives2000 · Jun 19, 2012, 12:38 PM

Is it over for good?

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 19, 2012, 12:48 PM

You already posted this question, and you have answers on it. Please don't post twice and stick to the original question.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3150863

LearningAsIGo · Jun 19, 2012, 12:49 PM

She won't forget you.

Healing from a break-up takes time. Keep trying to move on each day and fate will either bring you together later or keep you apart. Right now it sounds like she's not ready for a relationship with anyone. Sometimes life just gets too complicated and you have to set priorities (like exams).

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

You already posted this question, and you have answers on it. Please don't post twice and stick to the original question.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3150863

Arg

chives2000 · Jun 19, 2012, 01:16 PM

Sorry for the re-post, I was just hoping for a few more replies. I know it may not seem like a major break-up but it is to me, she is my first love and she just seems to haunt my dreams :( I can't seem to get out of my head and I want her back so desperately. I feel like if I got that definite answer of how she feels about me then I can move on, I just keep thinking what if she realises she wants to be with me, should I take her back?

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 19, 2012, 01:31 PM

NO, absolutely not. Taking her back is like buying the same chocolate bar twice, hoping the second time it's going to be better. If it didn't work out the first time, it won't a second.

Grab a hold of reality man, just accept the fact that she was not the one and move on. You'll find your someone special, trust me, you will, someone who you don't have to take a break with after 7 months. Someone who you can wake up to every morning and not argue with or dissagree with. Life does go on, if you want to stick around and miss it that's up to you, but there are different places to see and new people to meet.

talaniman · Jun 19, 2012, 08:03 PM

You have asked a lot of what ifs, and what to do's in your many posts. May I ask if you have read the stickies, and working on living a life with out her? What are you doing in the other areas of your life, like work, school, career, family, and friends? How's the social life?

The best way to get more feedback, is through more information, not copy, and paste. I think we all know how hard that first break up was, but they all suck.