[midland2012]

I have been married for 3 years and I live with my in laws at the moment and my husband thinks his mother is god he can not see that she’s trying to separate us and she feeds him lies and my husband believes her making me the bad person

My husband always puts me last when I need support or even financial support when he is giving his mother money for her car insurance, MOT and maintenance and when I ask he has no money.

My mother in law emotionally blackmails him and gives him the guilt trip and he feels sorry for her and then I’m left second best again
All I want from my husband is a status of a wife I want to come first in his life his mother has her husband but does not pay any attention to him because she to busy brainwashing my husband against me

We have brought a property to move into but the mother in law has some how convinced my husband that she will be staying with us and he is OK with that
I feel so depressed and can not take this no more, all I want is my husband

[Jake2008]

It is too bad that you had no prior knowledge of his relationship with his mother, even after you moved in. It would have been helpful to have some sort of agreement on boundaries.

That being said, it is unlikely that you can change your relationship with her, or his relationship with her. There are three people in this marriage.

If he is unwilling to cut the apron strings (even to the point of moving in with the two of you), it is up to you what you can, and cannot tolerate. From what you have said, the relationship would likely be the same as it is now, even with a new place.

What have you tried so far. Have you made any headway in getting him to understand how unhappy you are, and why you feel you are not his priority. Is he willing to make any compromises with the first one being, she doesn't move in with you.

Would he go to counselling, or have a serious talk to his mother about backing off.

Failing any improvement, I'd say the writing is on the wall.

[midland2012]

Before I got married she was the best mother in law anybody could ask for but he true colours came out once I started to live with her.

I have tried to speak to him and tell him how I feel and even cried to him but when he speaks to his mother about it she twists the truth and makes me out to be the liar and my husband believes her every time I have even confronted her but she plays dumb.

I told my husband that I only want us to move into the property because we need the privacy and we need to get on our own feet and all he says yes but then he changes his mind once his mum speaks to him.

He wouldn't go to a counseller has he thinks nothing is wrong and that its all in my head and that his mother is good to me but I'm being difficult he can't see how sly his mother really is

[tlm150]

Hi
I am in a similar situation only his whole family siblings and parents are against me. We knew each other for 7 yrs before we got married and he was the ideal partner. His family have an inferiorty complex and have been plotting to have me out of the house. They have dropped me to my parents house and have convinced my husband I am a liar, to the point he says he is no longer in love with me. They dictate him emotionally and financially. I cannot go back as it won't change and will get worse. But he refuses to meet me.

[joypulv]

It sounds to me like divorce is the answer for both of you.