[twitylove]

Moved to its own question.

I think I really sucks with these feelings, my husband is a good, really good man, we have a wonderful baby girl. Here comes my ex boy friend, we have not seen for about 4 years. But he just came back by simply texting me,

I don't why I still have the feelings for him, and regret he was not the one whom I married, knowing he also have the same feelings for me, since we broke up. He never had any girlfriends anymore that's because he is still expecting that one day he and I will have a special place for our love. Help me please. Need advice.


twitylove..

[talaniman]

Harshness Warning

Oh get real and make sure he knows beyond a doubt that his life long love and fantasy ain't going down that road with him, and then leave him alone and don't even try the friendship thing know good a damn well what he wants more than life. Hasn't he wasted enough of his life on you?

Of course he has and doing anything to lead him on would be selfish cruel, and plain STUPID, so don't even play the game, and risk destroying your family by being a cheater. That also is STUPID!! Sorry to be harsh, but all fantasy and feeling aside, while have strong feelings for others besides your husband is human and beyond your control, acting on them is very much your choice, and full control.

As is crossing the lines of good behavior, and trust and loyalty. You know the kind you want your husband to respect and honor?

Okay the old feelings are stirred up again, a blast from the past. So what? Deal with them by not starting something that's wrong, and you will regret in the first place and put the ex out of his misery (if you even believe such a cockamamie story of celibacy since you left, which is highly suspect and unhealthy), and reject any undo BS he thinks.

Sorry, but anything you do there is consequences and to accept after 4 years he has not changed and become a stranger, so don't get so carried away you cross the lines foolishly driven by your feelings.

This ain't no fantasy romance novel, its real life, and real people so choose your action very carefully. If you really need advise, ask the good guy you married and have a child with. He may have some excellent suggestions, better than mine.

Don't fall for no BS! No matter how flattering and romantic it sounds and reject this bum thoroughly.

[twitylove]

That was an awesome advice thanks for that @talaniman, I'm trying to stop this foolishness of my own, I think I will not bother my husband to tell this to him to avoid some arguements( that would be helpful to me?? What do you think.. ) I hope I will see the light the right path to walk on and that would be to my family, with my family not with my ex boyfriend... (sigh) keep me posted

[talaniman]

Keep US posted please!

[twitylove]

Is it healthy to be guilty that its bcoz of me, while he did'nt have any other GF since we broke up?

[talaniman]

For whatever reason he did things the way he did, it is entirely his own responsibily. No reason for you to feel guilty at all. Sad, he wasted his time holding on to those feelings so long, but this really isn't about anything you have done.

Making his personal issue yours, is not healthy at all, and hopefully if you do nor encourage or abide any more false hope through guilt, or further contact, then maybe you both can find the better path to health over this.

I am sure your husband would say have no contact with this fellow at all, and it should not be a cause for argument if you told him of this. If you rejected him, then have no guilt. The love this fellow has had for you is HIS unhealthy obsesssion, pity him, but don't encourage it.

He may also be lying, gf's or not. Either way guilt, or pity is not to be acted on. Protect yourself, your heart, and your family from his unwanted confession and advances, distraction, and obsession.

Did he know you are married, and HAPPY?