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gogeta5 · May 4, 2012, 04:57 AM

I met this guy 9 years ago and I had a serious crush on him. It was just casual to him and later when I moved back to my country he said we could stay friends. Then one day I told him about my feelings for him, he stopped emailing me. It's been 7 years now and I have never bothered him no matter how much I wanted to ask him whether he was angry or annoyed with me. I would really like to know if he would be angry if he knows that I still think of him sometimes and does he expect me to delete all his emails and forget all my memories ?

Fr_Chuck · May 4, 2012, 05:13 AM

After 9 years I would have expected anyone to have deleted old emails from past lovers, esp ones where there was not a relationship. It is fairly obvious from your statement, you were a sexual partner or a fun time for the moment and once he moved he expected it to end, And was not serious at all.

I would have expected you to have dated and had many or at least someone else by now.

No you do not contact them, and if you are still what appears to be obsessed over a fling that many years ago, perhaps professional counseling if you have not already had a new love to replace that by now

gogeta5 · May 5, 2012, 06:31 AM

Thanks for your reply Fr Chuck. I believe you are right. I guess the problem is that I come from a different culture and my family is strict. I cannot meet men outside of work and dating is not allowed. Only an arranged marriage would be an option for me but I don't want to do it. I think this is why that moment of happiness and freedom I had all these years ago is still in my mind. I wonder if it makes me a sick person to cherish the only happy memories I ever had.

joypulv · May 5, 2012, 06:47 AM

No, nothing sick about it at all!
I suspect that he broke off contact with you for your sake. He thought he was doing you a favor. How could expressions of love be anything but a compliment? How could they make him annoyed or angry?
We Americans on this board (mostly US, Canada, UK, and Australia here) tend to replace lost loves with new ones, so don't know what you are going through. But I know that I and others still hold someone dear in our hearts.
If you can convince yourself that he has never harbored any ill will toward you, will that give you more pleasant memories to hang onto?

gogeta5 · May 5, 2012, 09:00 AM

joypulv, thanks for your comforting words. You cannot imagine how nice it felt to read your post.thank you so much.