[Jay254]

So, I've officially been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a little over 2 weeks now. Before I asked her to be my girlfriend, we had talked and been seeing each other for about 3-4 months. Now, when I met her she was still dating her ex boyfriend, but a week after they broke up. This is when we started actually talking and started building feelings for each other.

About 2 months since we'd been talking I found out that when she went back home (we go to the same college) she had seen her ex-boyfriend and had sex with him. This was after they had broken up and when we were talking! I found this out by reading her text message.. I'm not the jealous type or anything, but when she would stay over late at night he would always call her and text her. So, when she had left the room I check her phone and found out about this.

I confronted her about this and she said that she had been "manipulated". She uses that word a lot when talking about her ex-boyfriend. Anyway, she said it wouldn't happen again. About a month after that incident, I saw the he still called and texted her from time to time because her phone would go off and I noticed it was him. I didn't get upset or anything. At one point she had even stopped talking to him because she knew I didn't like it. But a little later she asked me if she could message him to tell him something about a game (draw something). I said "sure" because again, I am not the jealous type and if it was just talking over a game then I would be okay with it.

Eventually, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I told her that I did not want to share her and I thought that when we would finally be in a relationship, she would stop talking to him.. But that doesn't seem to be the case. After I asked her out, I went through her phone and saw that they were still talking and she had said that her and her ex-boyfriend were "bff" (best friends or something like that). This kind of annoyed me but I didn't address it.

A couple of days ago I met up with her and talked to her about it. I told her that I did not appreciate that she was talking to her ex. She didn't say much but she said she was sorry. A day or two after that, her ex-boyfriend kept calling her while we were on the phone. He called like 10 times so I asked her if she wanted to talk to him.. She said yes and that she would call me back. This kind of blew my mind. And I was thinking maybe she would tell him to stop calling and tell me once she called me back, but she didn't and all she said was, "hi. goodnight." I said whatever and hung up. She called me back, I told her once again that I really did not appreciate that she talked to him. I told her that it is inconsiderate and disrespectful towards me. I gave her an ultimatum. Her response had me dumbfounded. She said that she would tell him to stop talking to her. A better response would have been, "I will stop talking to him." SHE LET'S THE GUY TALK TO HIM. I don't understand.

Another thing that confuses me is that she told me from the beginning that she didn't like him and that she likes me. WHY is she not taking anything I say into consideration??

So after the ultimatum, I gave her a second chance and felt better about it. But last night, she texted me goodnight so I called her. Her exboyfriend called her while we were on the phone!! I asked her if they had talked earlier in the day and she told me they did! What! So I got mad and told her I'm going to bed. I haven't talked to her since then. She texted me realizing that I'm mad and she realizes what she is doing is wrong and hurting my feelings. She also said that she is "trying" to stop talking to him.

What do I do?

[Campdraftqueen]

Wow she qbvousally likes her ex and likes you at the same time. If you really want to find out the truth then ask her if she has feeling for him or you. And then if she says you then stay with her but if she has feelings for the ex then say I thought you liked me and obvousally don't like me so sorry but its ove. SOZ if this didn't help

[Jay254]

She told me she doesn't like him! I've asked her multiple times and that's what she said.

She said that she would feel bad for not talking to him! I just told her that she's putting his feelings in front of mine and her reply was "you're right. sorry. I'm so dumb. i'm bad with relationship." Maybe she doesn't know from inexperience but it should be common sense!

[none12345]

Here's an important lessons I think you should know:

When you tell someone you don't want them to do something, they purposely do it.

Have some self respect and leave this girl and continue moving on with your life.

[Jay254]

I don't want to break up with her just that easily. I genuinely like her and want to try to make it work. She says she is sorry and she wants me to be "patient" and she asked me if I could give her time to "improve". I feel like she is sitting in the middle of both me and her ex so she doesn't hurt either one of us. She's a sincere girl and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she honestly says she doesn't like her ex-boyfriend and like me instead, but I don't know if I should because of some of the past instances that I've witnessed.

Advice?

[Campdraftqueen]

Have u met the ex and if you haven't then maybe you should meet him and ask him to stop. Because it takes 2 to text each other

[kayco123]

Omg leave. I just went EXACTLY through this. Idc if you like her or not but leave. She's not over her ex and won't be. My ex did the EXACT samething. Leave her before she leaves you dude, I'm dead serious and you'll save yourself heartbreak.

[Jay254]

Well last night, she said she would stop talking to him (no more answering calls/texts). And I gave her another chance. Also, I asked her boyfriend to stop contacting her and he said he would (in the most rude way and childish way), but he also made it sound like I don't know something that I should. Here's the two messages:

Me: Hey,
I'm going to try to make this as polite and straightforward as possible. I know you know who I am. I want you to know that I really do not appreciate you talking to Cristina. Especially when you call her at times like 3AM while you're drunk and tell her you miss her. You've got to realize that that is just straight up disrespectful. You might be just a kid, but I'm asking you as a man to back off my girlfriend. Grow up and show some respect for yourself. You guys aren't together anymore and she isn't yours. Let go of her and find a someone else. That's all I have to say.

Him: Haha hey man , you got it . I won't call her anymore . But just make sure you know all the bits and pieces before you confront some one and look like a retard, I'm glad you asked politely . But calling me a kid ? Lol... You got balls .
Sure , whatever you want man. I'm pretty sure what she told you is pretty bias , just know the story first.

This was the first time I've ever talked to him. He seems really immature and I don't know if he was just saying these things to make me mad..

[talaniman]

The whole problem you have not acknowledge is her words and actions don't match, and she is unable to handle her business with the ex. That's enough facts for you to look beyond what YOU want, and see what you are getting.

Leave her guy, don't reward her with more chances.

Talaniman Rule - When words and actions don't match, leave them alone.

Talaniman Rule - Never get involved with any one who has an EX active in their lives.

I just read your confrontation. Maybe that's all it will take, but don't overlook she couldn't handle her business herself, because you may see that again.

[none12345]

Well last night, she said she would stop talking to him (no more answering calls/texts). and I gave her another chance.

Also, I asked her bf to stop contacting her and he said he would (in the most rude way and childish way), but he also made it sound like I don't know something that I should. Here's the two messages:

You might be just a kid, but I'm asking you as a man to back off of my girlfriend. Grow up and show some respect for yourself. You guys aren't together anymore and she isn't yours. Let go of her and find a someone else. That's all I have to say.

Him: Haha hey man , you got it . I won't call her anymore . But just make sure you know all the bits and pieces before you confront some one and look like a retard , . I'm glad you asked politely . But calling me a kid ? Lol ... You got balls .
Sure , whatever you want man. I'm pretty sure what she told you is pretty bias , just know the story first.

This was the first time I've ever talked to him. He seems really immature and I don't know if he was just saying these things to make me mad..

Ima try to put the pieces together:
1) I doubt she will stop talking to her
2) let me get this straight, she has 2 boyfriends. You said u contacted her boyfriend and then you told that guy to stop contacting your girlfriend.
3) do you really think he ll stop talking to her after you pulled that stunt?
4) No offence, after reading this post it seems like the only immature person is you, letting it get so far, going to the extremities to chase after this girl and letting her play you intentionally or not intentionally.

Have some self respect and distant yourself from this situation

[Jay254]

All right, you guys are right. I feel pretty stupid for letting it get this far. I called it off with her. Thanks for all the help.

[mmresd]

You need to get away from all this, drop the girl and move on. No need for all these drama especially for such a short relationship.

[Campdraftqueen]

CONGRADS it will hurt for a while but u did the right thing

[Lyntonx2]

yo bro I'm going through the sam thing right now with my girl and I've been thinking about calling it off too, but your girl was open and mine is hear say, but here check out these 3 vids I hope they help you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd7uU9pAfDQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOW0BkTF2xM&feature=relmfu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1fX5n0qQqY&feature=relmfu