[Kate5516]

I have full custody of my son who is 7 now but I am confussed on a lot of stuff, about custody and I am getting mixed answers from everyone who has been in the same situation has me. >Removed<

[JudyKayTee]

We can't answer your questions if we don't know what they are. All questions are answered here, on AMHD, not by email.

Please post what it is that you need to know and you'll get answers.

[Kate5516]

Let me redo. I have full custody of my son. My ex husband left us on Fathers Day 2010 our Divorice was final in Dec 2010. Because he was moving to another city right before Christmas with his girlfriend. He was court ordered to pay child support starting in Jan 2011. With him moving and not having a job he was still paying me with what money they made. He paid me Jan-April of child support but nothing until Dec 2011 for Mays child support. He still owes me for 10 months up to Mar 2012 he just finally got a job and they will be taking it out of his pay in April and paying me back money owed. My question is can I keep him from seeing or talking to his son even thought he hasn't made an effort to visit or keep up with his visitations or behind in child support. I live in Arizona and everyone with similar situations has told me I can do this and my ex and his family is telling me no I can't it is illegal but yet I feel that I am stuck I just got married to a very wonderful man who has been there for me and my son since May 2010 and even though he works out of state my son still gets to talk to him everyday and loves him has dad . So I guess can I keep my ex from seeing or talking to my son since he is so far behind in child support and not keeping up to his vistations.

[JudyKayTee]

Child support and visitation are two different things and I know it doesn't seem fair. Fathers (or mothers) who don't pay support are still allowed to visit with their children.

When you say full custody - what is the Court-ordered visitation arrangement?

Of course, if your "ex" does nothing about not seeing/talking to your/his son you can keep the child away from him. The problem is if he DOES go to Court you will look like you are attempting to estrange the son from the father. I know your reasoning and, believe me, I understand, but legally you can't do that.

I would also be concerned that if he can't even talk to the child he will go to Court and request blocks of time for visitation - for example, a month during the summer, long weekends, things of that nature.

If the birth father is a danger to the child, well, that's a different story.

I know this is frustrating - no money but he still gets visitation (?) but that's how the law is written.

[ScottGem]

First, its not a good idea to piggyback your question on another thread. Since this can cause confusion I've moved your question to its own thread.

Everyone else is wrong and they are right. As Judy said, Support and visitation are considered separately. If there is court ordered visitation, his support status has no bearing on that and you cannot keep him from HIS child, especially not as punishment for being behind in support.

In this case in particular, it seems he has not been able to keep his visitation because of job and location issues. So, if you were to try and keep him from his child and he took you to court, the court would not look kindly on your doing so and might even award him greater visitation.

More importantly, I find it reprehensible on your part to use your child as a pawn in your issues between you and your ex. Your son is entitled to know his father and you should not be interfering with that because of your own issues.

So my recommendation is to be reasonable about allowing your ex and his family to be a part of your son's life.

[Fr_Chuck]

Agreed, If there is a order for visitation then you can not stop him from seeing the kids.
Nor should you. If there is not a order and you don't allow him to visit it will look bad for you in court.

Him being behind in support does not effect his rights to visit