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Zaphyra · Apr 1, 2012, 10:44 PM

I have a friend who's been with me for quite several years now.. I always tell her about my bestfriend/boyfriend who's been with me for a long time already. It started when I was in high school. That guy was always with me since we were a junior student. We had a lot of fun together until graduation came and he told me that he is in love with me. I don't want him to be my boyfriend because he is my best friend. Years passed and we're still on that situation.. Then it came to me that I love him too. We became lovers for 3 months then I began wanting the previous arrangement. So I broke up with him. I don't want to lose him I guess. I saw that there are lots of things that we're going to argue about if we became lovers. He understood that. Then my other friend (girl) came in that situation. I told her everything . One day she told me that my ex-bf wants him. She's asking if it's OK with me. Then I said yes but after few minutes, I said no. Then I cried a lot. I don't know why I am so hurt. Then it became a big argumentation for me and my ex-bf. Then she found out and told me I am selfish. Do I really have the right to get mad with both of them??

Homegirl 50 · Apr 1, 2012, 10:57 PM

No!
You don't want him as a boyfriend but you don't want anyone else to have him. She did ask you and you had your chance.

Zaphyra · Apr 2, 2012, 02:01 AM

Thank you so much... This really helps.

talaniman · Apr 2, 2012, 01:12 PM

No!

Stellaw · Apr 4, 2012, 06:09 AM

I think you're not mad at them. You're mad at yourself I guess or maybe you're just scared of losing him as your BF and as your friend as well.
Well, don't be. You can find someone better :)

JudyKayTee · Apr 4, 2012, 06:34 AM

No, you have no "right" to be angry with either, or both, of them - you didn't want him. Maybe she does.

Keep walking.

Zaphyra · Apr 10, 2012, 09:10 AM

Thanks guys.. Actually he talked to me and he already stopped talking to my friend(girl). He told me that he won't do it for me not to get hurt. I don't know if I'm happy. Somehow, I felt bad because my friend(girl) says she likes him. She is actually waiting for my ex boyfriend to talk to him again but I can't tell her until now that I am the reason why he avoided talking to her.

angle101 · Apr 10, 2012, 09:18 AM

NO!
You have no right to be angry at either one of them because you said you wanted him just as your friend but he wants a girl friend and I think he has his right and so does your friend :)

Homegirl 50 · Apr 10, 2012, 09:18 AM

That is a mess. What if he would have been happy with her and she with him?
Do you want him?

Zaphyra · May 7, 2012, 02:36 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

That is a mess. What if he would have been happy with her and she with him?
Do you want him?

He said he changed his mind. If he's really into her he won't listen to me.. That's what he told me.. And I found out also that my friend(girl) is dating lots of guys.. Maybe I was right.. Am I?

Homegirl 50 · May 7, 2012, 07:03 AM

I think it is rather selfish. As I said before, you don't want him but you don't want her to have him.
I think when it comes to his dating, you should stay out of it.

I wish · May 8, 2012, 08:52 AM

If you only want him as a friend, then you should stay out of his lovelife.

It's like you want him as your friend, but you don't want him dating anyone else. How is that fair to him? It sounds like you want him single forever and you're not going to be with him.

As for him, I'm not sure what he's thinking, but it's possible that he was on the rebound from you. I think it's best that he stays away from your friend for the time being because he feelings does seem flacky and it doesn't seem like he's over you.