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buzz1954 · Mar 20, 2012, 08:50 PM

We live in Ohio. My wife and I have had custody of our Grandson for 2 1/2 years. Both of the parents are mentally ill. After an incident when the baby was hospitalized the baby was realeased in our custody.We received custody when he was 5 months old.After the incident we took the parents to court when the baby failed to thrive and was suffering from neglect and lack of nourishment. The parents have supervised visitation at our home. They have not visited our grandson for 16 months. THe last time they say the baby is when we ran into them at the store 6 months ago. THey have blocked all communication with us starting 5 months ago. We recently found out that they had moved out of the area and left no forwarding address or means of contacting them. What should we do? We really bent over backwards to make visitation easy for them. We would love to adopt our grandson. We are basically the only parents he knows. Is the actions of his parents or lack of considered abandonment. Do we have grounds for adoption. We really want the baby to have a good life. He is really a joy.

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2012, 03:24 AM

You can't force parents to be parents. If they choose not to be a part of their child's life, that is their choice.

If you want to file to adopt the child, go ahead. Get yourself an attorney to prepare the paperwork. An attempt will have to be made to get the parent's permission for the adoption. If a proper, legal attempt is made to get that permission and they do not respond, it is likely the adoption will be approved. If they refuse to allow the adoption, the courts may still approve because the parents have made no attempt to be parents.

Good luck and keep us posted.

cdad · Mar 21, 2012, 04:06 AM

Here is where I have a problem with this situation. You mention that the parents are mentally ill. But you don't mention the extent of that illness. They may not understand the implications of their actions. Also it may be very painful for them to not have their child with them. If they have left the area without communication and a forwarding address its also possible that the couple may be pregnant again and don't want to relive what has happened before. You best actions at this time are not to proceed and to seek out answers to the current situation. Not knowing the full picture and how to deal with it may be part of the problem.

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2012, 04:32 AM

Califdad makes some good points. I was responding based on the statement that the child was given to you after an incident and investigation into their parenting.

But it would appear that whatever illness they may have, they are high functioning since they can live on their own and make decisions on their own.

So, I have to wonder at the extent of their disability and also what you have done to help them be better parents. This is not accusatory, but there are two sides to every story. If the parents can live on their own, then they can be taught to care for their child. Maybe more should have been done to help them.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 21, 2012, 05:15 AM

Yes, your start here is an attorney since mental illness is a issue they may not be allowed to just sign over their rights for an adoption if they would agree, the court may still appoint them an attorney to represent their rights, if there is a possible chance they do not fully understand.

It is possible, but it will take some work.