[Hlnmualb]

I'm 27 years old, and I have been having affair with my friend's husband for the past two years. Well,she became more of a friend after I've started this. I feel awful about this whole thing and whenever I try to stop I keep going back to him.

I tried to tell him if we should end this and come clean but he never wants it, but I want her to know that I am wrong and really sorry. Should I tell her? Somebody help me please

[mmresd]

Don't tell her, that won't fix anything, except the selfish feeling of guilt that you are now having to deal with. Just stop messing with the husband, if you can't, then it is probably best for you to get away from everything having to do with them, and learn how to respect someone else's marriage, and how to respect yourself.

[aeloise0506]

I don't know anything about this situation in detail and I'm only 18 so it's hard to say but just from reading that, the fact you are writing this question in itself shows you must somewhere deep down know you should tell her.

If he really wanted to be with you, then he would be prepared to finish with his wife and be with you. As clichéd as it is, he sounds like a man who "wants his cake and to eat it too." and if you don't tell her... where is this going? Its not fair on yourself clinging and dedicating your love to someone who doesn't reflect it back 100%. He's denying you the chance of moving on being happy and finding someone who wants to be with you.

However, if you do decide about telling her, you will need to seriously question the repercussions of your actions, and your own motives. Deep down do you really want to tell her for the reasons you said? Or is there a part of you that hopes they will end and he can finally be with you? You should talk this over with a close friend or family member as they will know you as a person and understand what you are like and how you should deal with it.

The best piece of advice given is put yourself in another person's shoes. If you were his wife would you want to know what he is like? The fact he is also being with you shows there must be something wrong in his marriage; otherwise, he wouldn't do this.Before you make any decisions you should ask him why he has had an affair with you and the real reason. The answer because I love you both, is not good enough. He is saying sweet things to you both, as doesn't want to lose either one.

It's not just unfair on his wife but you as well! Make sure you are confident on your decision because if you do tell his wife there's no undo button.

Hope it all works out and you make the right decision.

[odinn7]

You know this isn't right... this is your friend that you're talking about. It's bad enough if it's just some anonymous person but your friend? I mean really, you can't find someone that isn't attached? Have you no respect?

Knock it off, tell him it's over. Don't tell her as it won't do anything but crush her.

So I wonder... are you married as well?

[LUK3Y]

How is the relationship between the two of them going? I am asking this without taking into consideration what is going on between you and the husband...

[talaniman]

Tell HIM to leave you alone, or you will tell his wife. Or do you want to be the hypocrite who can't say no to a lying cheater. That's really sad isn't it? Some friend you are.

So do the right thing.