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Trella · Feb 6, 2012, 03:27 PM

I have read a lot around but I can't really find anything that helps.
Me and my boyfriend has been dating for a little over 9 months, I'm 18 and he's 20. Before our sex life was great, we did it almost everyday and sometimes 2 or 3 times. But for some months now it's just gotten less and less, now I'm lucky if I even get it once a week. He's that type of guy who doesn't look at porn when he has a girlfriend even when I say I don't mind. I have tried to talk to him about it a lot of times and he says he'll try more or something like that, but recently he can't even get it up, and even if I manige to get it up it goes down almost as quickly. He says he don't know why and that he wants to have sex with me he just can't get it up.

I have read that smoking pot may have something to do with it ? We do it sometimes in the weekends but not that much. I just don't know what to do, I try all the time its just not working. I just think its me, but he says its not. I don't know what to do I really love him and he says he really loves me to.

JudyKayTee · Feb 6, 2012, 06:10 PM

Yes, pot can be a problem.

So you love each other but don't have sex. Can you live with that?

If not, he needs to see a Physician AND he needs to lay off the pot to see if that helps.

Cat1864 · Feb 6, 2012, 09:28 PM

Have you tried 'not trying'? Sometimes pressure to have sex can cause issues. In other words, the more you try, the more he may be developing a mental block. It doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and doesn't want you. It means that he is possibly feeling like that is all you want or that you aren't open to other forms of communicating love and attraction.

Do you show each other affection and intimacy in non-sexual ways? Do you enjoy being with him when you aren't trying to get sex?

If your relationship has revolved around sex, perhaps trying to strengthen other forms of connecting and communicating would help.

Also look at other factors such as stress and exhaustion. Problems in bed generally have causes outside of it. To you he may not seem to be distracted by other things going on in his life, but small problems can have major effects. Talk to him about everything instead of focusing on sex.

Trella · Feb 7, 2012, 06:24 AM

To cat1864: I have tried to not do anything as well and there is no difference, we talk together about everything and as far as I know we have no secrets to each other. We are intimite when we are not trying to have sex and I really enjoy being with him what ever we do actually.

I don't think he is stressed, because then he would have told me ? He just says he don't know what it can be :(

To judykaytee: I really love him and I can live with it for now but I don't know for how long :( I will at least talk to him about laying of pot for a while.