[jodiroberts]

My fiancé of nearly 2 years has already started getting bored of either me or sex with me or even both! We use to have sex about 3-4 times a day and on some occasions 6 times! But since we got our own place about 6 months ago things have changed, I try to make a move but he pushes me away and never wants it, he says he's to tired or got a pain of some sort but he only ever says it about 5 minutes before we go to bed as if he only says it so I don't make a move on him. I've tried talking to him about it but he goes in a mood and calls me a sex addict or something. But I just say to him that I'm not, I just love him, and want him close to me, and he always says yes me too, but I'm too tired..

But nothing has changed. He still works the same hours, and does everything the same as what he did before we moved in together. I just don't understand, and sometimes I cry at night, when were lying in bed. And he is sleeping cause it hurts me so much, I'm not the most perfect looking girl in the world but he has looked at pictures of women on Facebook in just there bras or a corset or something and saved them on his phone, and it really hurts as there so much more pretty then me and such perfect bodies..

He also goes out on the weekend and I don't hear of him till the next day as he doesn't text me back or answer his phone or come home and then when he does come home he has a go at me and turns it round on me :( I don't have any friends so if I go out its always with him and he sometimes leaves me and goes off with his mates then comes back and thinks I've been off chatting with lads when I haven't! I've also mentioned to him to spice up our sex life as maybe he is bored (but I am in fact a bit bored of our sex when we have it) but he also goes in a mood then too, and won't talk about it or tell me things he likes in the bedroom, so I bought a sex book but he refuses to read it or do anything in it...

I don't work but I have a 3 year old and I pay for everything apart from his half of the rent, he never pays his way and when I ask him for it he says yeah, I'll give it to you, but then when pay day comes he just goes out and spends it :( I don't know what to do please someone help me :(

[talaniman]

I think that the biggest thing that has changed is now that you live together, you are failing to communicate, and make adjustments so you can work together. Those things that you passed over, are now his annoying habits and ways, and that's happening with you both. Not just with you.

You have to talk this out, and the minds must meet to get on the same page. You are way to isolated, and make him your world, and its obviously made you dependent on him, and no doubt you are at a frustrating place right now, mainly I think because there is not enough talking, or LISTENING. That can be frustrating in trying to work with a new roommate, who is supposed to be a partner.

I think you set him down and let him KNOW, what you expect, and want from him as a live in parter, calmly of course during quiet moments. Not make it about lack of sex, but about a lack of support, such as being on time for the rent. BUT first, you must restructure your own personal life that makes you happy, with friends, family, activities, and hobbies, so you have the proper things going for yourself, with opportunities to vent, and interact with other people besides him. This gives you the emotional balance of independence by which to better interact with your partner, and give you a better approach to communicating with him. It will keep you OBJECTIVE to dealing with him better, I think, and not just be frustrated because great change, and resolutions are not happening fast enough for you.

A happy you is an excellent way for YOU to adjust to each other, because obviously he does his thing without you, and you must be able to do the same. Adjusting your own attitude through being happy without him, is where you start, and he will come along, or can't hang with you. But that will be his adjustment to make.

That's my advice for a stay at home mom, with no friends and things she enjoys doing just on her own. I mean what did you do for fun before he moved in, or before you met him? I don't think he is going off you, just has other things he does besides being with you. YOU DON'T, but need to.