[devronq]

So first I would like to say that my girlfriend and I have been dating for 3months now and so far the relationship has been fantastic. We were friends for about 3 months before we starting dating. She always told me how her previous boyfriends used her for sex and mistreated her and how she was never happy and borderline suicidal. I wanted to date her so badly but she's significantly younger than me (im 8 years older and yes she's legal age)and I never thought she would. I found out she wanted to date me so badly to and eventually we did. We both go on about how this is the best relationship we've ever been and we have our lives have changed. Were both happier than we've ever been in our lives, we want to get married we want to live together we want everything.

Recently she's been getting very upset. She told me one day she went to bed crying. I asked why and she said she felt I was expecting sex and it made her feel bad because since we started having sex we have almost every single time we've seen each other. I felt horrible like I committed some huge wrong even though she wasn't really mad at me or anything. I love her so much and I want to do anything to make her happy. We had a talk about it the next day and I wasn't sure exactly what she meant by expecting sex and she seemed to have trouble explaining it to me. She said I just did it and didn't ask I expected it like you just eat or breathe you don't ask to. I thought this was weird to me I mean do I need to ask? When you start taking off someone's cloths isn't that asking? I wasn't having sex with her when she told me no, she never said no, she just felt I needed to ask. The last thing I said to her in that conversation was "So it wouldn't bother you if we had sex every day I just need to ask first?" So the next day I was just wanting to touch her (sexually) and she wouldn't let me, she was pulling me away so I stopped. She then had a conversation that was something like " I just don't want you expecting it" and I was like OK and stopped. I then got up to do something and when I came back she was laying naked in bed under the covers and was like OK we can have sex if you want.

Now today was our 3 month, I felt we were both kind of in a blah mood and they day didn't go all that great for various reasons. The last part though was she took off her cloths so I could give her a back run and after we started making out and I was like "do you want to have sex?" and she said "il think about it" and seemed really turned off... She then asks me "what does sex mean to you?" I delayed for a while and said "well I don't think it means love to me, I'm used to it" I immediately felt stupid knowing I had given a bad answer. A bit later she said she really didn't want to have sex tonight. She left later that night and we ended up texting because she was to upset to talk on the phone. She was upset because she said she thought I was about to cry when she left, because it really hurt her to tell me no and because she was upset that I didn't give a good answer to her question. She said sex should be a way of connecting people and it should be romantic. I apologized for my answer and said that I thought I do many other things to show her I love her and that sex shouldn't be something I do to show you I love you and that I completely agree with her that it should be a way to connect people and that it should be romantic (just maybe not 100% of the time). She had to go to bed early so we never finished talking about it.

Now I need advise on how to proceed from here. I told her id wake up super early and talk to her, but I don't know what to say at this point. I've apologized so many times and probably for no reason because she said she forgave me the first time I just feel I need to say something more to her. I feel like I failed the first time she said I was expecting it and now this is the second incident and I haven't learned my lesson. I feel I'm getting mixed signals from her... I'm not in anyway saying this as an excuse but I've been with more people that her like more than double her and I've never had a girl tell me this before and I'm having trouble dealing with it.

1. Now what should I say to her tomorrow?
2. Should I just stopping having sex with her until she asks for it? This may sound stupid but I worry if I did that she might think I was mad at her or something.
3. Also note she normally has a huge sex drive like sex 4 times a day and masturbates way more than any girl I've ever know.
4. I feel I need to do more to show her I'm sorry and taking her seriously but I'm not sure what to say or do.
5. She starts a college coarse in two weeks so I feel I need to resolve this by then because for one we will see each other a lot less and I don't want her upset and not able to see me much and two I want to show her we don't have to have sex every time we see each other but I can't really do that if were not seeing each other at all.

[talaniman]

Seems now that you are moving along to other areas of a relationship besides your bodies, start paying attention, and talk more, so you CAN understand what she means when she says what she says. Don't over think, or over react, as this is probably more about her than you.

Just pay attention, be a better listener, and ask questions as 3 months is enough for bodies to bond but the minds need longer. Tell her you are confused by recent conversations. See where it leads. More deeper conversations hopefully.

[devronq]

Hmm it says someone answered my question but there answer doesn't appear anywhere? Is this a glitch or am I looking in the wrong place?