[mihaicosmin222]

Basically, the title says it all.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for more than 2 years now, and a few months ago we moved together.
She is a very complicated being, her parents split up, and at home she would live only with her mother and grand-mother. She also does video chat for some extra income, although I do not think this is a real problem.

Lately, I've noticed that she became increasingly distant with me, barely kisses and hugs now... So I searched her laptop for some answers (maybe she was cheating on me).

What I found was quite... disturbing.
She is masturbating almost everyday (sans the day with period I guess) and she also records everything. And every time I try to convince her into having sex, she simply back downs and says she too tired or too busy or something like that.

I also figured that she did cheat on me (for once) a few months ago, with some random dude on the street (literally). The guy stopped his car near her and asked for her name and there she entered the car and then had fun with that guy.

Sooooooooooooo, what am I supposed to do in this situation..

[smoothy]

I'd look into moving out... if for no other reason... than if its like this now.. its only going to get worse as time goes on. And there is a LOT going on here. Likely more than you even know. More than what talking will ever resolve most likely.

[mihaicosmin222]

I know there is a lot going on behind her smily face, and I know quite a bit about it.

However, there is one thing bugging me... if she really doesn't want to have a relationship, why is she keeping one?
We had quite a serious fight a few weeks back, out of which I was 100% sure we wouldn't make it... yet still she wants to be with me, but she's very isolated.

[JudyKayTee]

She's presumably is the only person who can explain her behavior. Maybe you're her safety net - when all else fails she can come home to you.

I can't believe you're still there.

I trust she is getting tested for STDs - and you are, too. Anything she catches she can bring home to you.

[mihaicosmin222]

I really don't think STD is a problem right now...

And how exactly should I approach this situation..
I can't tell her "umm well, i hacked your laptop and figured out you are masturbating and recording it, what do you have to say about that?" if I do it, she won't trust me at all anymore.

Ending the relationship might be a solution I'm considering right now, but it's kind of a shame after 2 years to end like this.

[JudyKayTee]

I really don't think STD is a problem right now...

And how exactly should i approach this situation..?
I can't tell her "umm well, i hacked your laptop and figured out you are masturbating and recording it, what do you have to say about that?" if i do it, she won't trust me at all anymore.

ending the relationship might be a solution I'm considering right now, but it's kinda of a shame after 2 years to end like this.

She had sex with a stranger and you don't see a danger of an STD?

When you snoop you have to be prepared to deal with what you find - and that includes asking her to face up to what she's posted. So she won't trust you any more? I can't believe that's your concern.

At any rate - if you can put up with her behavior and your suspicions, then stay. If you can't, then go.

[mihaicosmin222]

No no no, she didn't have sex with that guy. They just walked and kissed at some point.


I can put it with her behavior for now, but I don't exactly know how long will I be able to from now on,which is why I'm thinking of changing things a little bit.

[JudyKayTee]

no no no, she didn't have sex with that guy. they just walked and kissed at some point.


I can put it with her behavior for now, but i don't exactly know how long will i be able to from now on,which is why i'm thinking of changing things a little bit.

I read this - "I also figured that she did cheat on me (for once) a few months ago, with some random dude on the street (literally). The guy stopped his car near her and asked for her name and there she entered the car and then had fun with that guy" and assumed "fun" meant sex. So - what did she do with the stranger.

Would I be out of there? Yes, but that's just me.

[mihaicosmin222]

I read this - "I also figured that she did cheat on me (for once) a few months ago, with some random dude on the street (literally). The guy stopped his car near her and asked for her name and there she entered the car and then had fun with that guy" and assumed "fun" meant sex. So - what did she do with the stranger.

She actually recorded herself describing her adventure.

She was walking on the road, the guy picked her up, and they walked around for a bit and kissed. The guy did try to have sex with her, but it didn't work.

I probably did not make myself clear enough with the description of what happened.


I would go out of it but I really don't want to do it unless it's an unrepairable situation.