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    klsmith1013's Avatar
    klsmith1013 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 25, 2012, 05:16 PM
    I left my boyfriend...
    This is not really a question but I need to vent and know if I made the right choice.

    I am 22 and just left my boyfriend of 11months, which isn't all that long but long enough for me to love him. He was perfect at first but slowly turned into a controlling, selfish, downright mean person. When he wanted to be nice , by all means he was the sweetest thing. But when we got into a disagreement he turned mean real fast. Instead of ever dealing with the problem or talking it thro he would turn to anger and just say mean things to hurt me like I was a **** or he could find better and so forth.

    He also at times got physical. He never hit me but he would hold me down and not let me leave, he even once spit on me. And to top it all off he was controlling. I wasn't allowed to have friends or paint my nails, go to the store, and so much more.

    I am sure you're all wondering why someone would put up with so much. But I honestly believed he would change. Until one day I told him I wanted to talk to and meet up with my cousin whom I haven't spoken to since we got together. And he wasn't having that. Needless to say, he blocked my number, but yet he would still call me to say pretty much what he wanted to say but when I had something to say he would just hang up and I couldn't call him back. After about 2 days of this I decided me and him were done and I got a hold of my cousin and went to see her.

    That day he called me and asked what I was doing and I told him just left my cousin's and he flipped out. Saying all kinds of mean things and saying how I lost him and how he was going to go be with another girl that night and just trying to hurt me.

    Once again I am sure you are wondering why I would be with someone for so long and deal with all this and I can honestly say I loved him and hoped he would change and a part of me still wishes he would even though I know it won't happen. And let me just say I never did anything for him to act this way towards me. I never cheated and I listened to all his demands, I may have not listened easily and fought over it with him but I never went behind his back and did anything he didn't want.

    And the worse part is he has never owned up to any of it. He thinks what he has done I deserved which is the worst part about this all I guess and why its so hard for me. I loved him and I can't understand how someone who claims they love you can treat you this way and think it's okay and I deserve it. I don't know.

    I am sorry I vented so much but this is hard and I am extremely hurt and sad and I just needed some support I guess
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 25, 2012, 05:30 PM
    *high fives and a big hug to klsmith*

    You did good by leaving that toxic relationship!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 26, 2012, 07:32 AM
    It's a strong person that can break a bad cycle, and know what to do to heal. Some never do. That took courage, and I applaud you for it.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 26, 2012, 07:41 AM
    He didn't become a "controlling, selfish, downright mean person". He was always all those things, but you just didn't know him well enough to figure those things out about him.

    Now you know the real him, you realize that he's not your type. Time to move on to someone else who will treat you right!

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