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bugmom · Jan 21, 2012, 12:36 AM

My son's "father" left me when I was 5 months pregnant. Lie after lie about who be actually was, I came to find out. He hasn't seen or even asked to see my son since he was approx 7 weeks old. My son is almost 3. We were not married, he isn't on the birth certificate, there isn't an order of paternity, or visitation. It's like he doesn't exist. He doesn't pay child support. I haven't had any contact with him in exactly one year. I've heard there's a way to keep him from ever taking me to court and wanting rights to my child. I want him as far away from my son as possible. Forever. It honestly is in the best interest of my son.

ScottGem · Jan 21, 2012, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by bugmom

I've heard there's a way to keep him from ever taking me to court and wanting rights to my child.

You heard wrong. Yes, its possible for a parent's rights to be terminated but courts are very reluctant to issue a TPR and generally will not except under specific circumstances (see here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html)

As for him not paying child support, it was never required of him. You did not include him on the birth certificate, never went to court for child support, so you have establish no connection to the child with him. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand you found out he was not the man you thought he was when you decided to have sex with him. But that doesn't change the fact that he is the father and he has rights should he choose to exercise them.

If you tried to get his rights terminated, the court would say he's not exercising his rights so why bother. If he does try to exercise them, then you can deal with it. You can probably get supervised visits in the beginning since he will be basically a stranger.

There are two other issues to consider. First, child support is for the child, unless you can provide everything your son needs including a college education then you may be depriving your son because of your anger towards his father. Second, at some point he will ask about his father. If he finds out you were the one keeping his father from him, he may resent you.

HellHound82 · Jan 25, 2012, 12:11 PM

I would have to say the best thing for your son is to keep things how they are if the father still wants nothing to do with him then there's no need to drag him through the mess it will do more harm than good, and as he gets oldre he will see that you are not the one keeping him from his father.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 25, 2012, 01:46 PM

Agree with Scott, no there is no way to bar him from ever trying to be part of the child's life.
You have not asked for any support though the courts, so there is none due yet ( he can not be behind, if there is none to pay)

It appears at this point, he wants nothing to do with child, the longer he waits, the harder it will be in court to get permission