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Am I insecure?
So I've got this found group, all of them heading to become doctors and me sitting there planing where I'm going travelling first after uni (don't get me wrong work is important I just want to be more 'free' the way I go about it all).
All of them come from stable backgrounds but mine was dodgy, broken home, drugs, fags, guys... the works. We've been best mates for about 3 years now and slowly its all started going wrong, I met a man ten years older than me and they all disproved, so I stop seeing him, then I started smoking and they all think I'm a **** so I'm hiding that from them... I'm always talking to knew guys and loving it but only recently have I stopped telling them about who I'm talking to because they all disprove but then when they find out I get a bollocking anyway for keeping it from them. I'm seriously trying to live a care-free, happy life after all the **** with my parents messed up divorce and me bringing crap upon myself, yet they keep giving it to me from left right and center, I bought one of the girls and I (in this 'group') to go see Jersey Boys but I'm convincing myself it wasn't 'buying affection'! Everyone (outsiders) tell me their **** friends and that I'm maturing way to quickly for them, because I've started to realize I get on so much better meeting new people socializing and partying alone. But I don't want to be alone, I just want them to except me? I want to hang around with loads of people not just one set bunch. Am I fighting a lost cause? Should I just grin ad bare it and it'll fade? Its just they always have a go when I'm with other people... the strange thing is its only me that gets told if I'm annoying anyone, everyone else seems to go off for a few days and do it scott free.. I don't understand it? Someone with any understanding please help? |
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Stop being a people pleaser, and explore your world, and do your own thing, and find your happiness, because longer after uni that's what they will do.
There are plenty of people out there that will accept you, and you don't have to kiss their butts to do it. If you do, shame on you. |
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