[MomtoJoe_Lesli]

My ex-boyfriend and I have two children together - an eight year old and a two year old. He spent the first four and half years of my oldest child's life incarcerated. He got out, did really great for a while, and we had the surprise of our lives when we found out I was pregnant with the little one. By the time she was a year old, he'd begun using drugs and alcohol (again), stealing (again), and abusing me and our son. I broke things off when he physically assaulted me while I was holding our daughter because I confronted him about bruises on my little boy that my son claimed were from his father beating him with a belt.

In short, he was arrested for family violence that night and the charges are still pending. While he was in jail, it was discovered that he committed another felony (burglary and arson) and he is now facing 20 years in prison. (And the case is a slam dunk against him - witness testimony and he was in possession of the stolen goods - yet he's refused a deal for 12 years and a deal for 10 years, so the DA is going to trial. This is in a small community in West Texas with extremely conservative values that tend to throw the book at someone with a rap sheet as long as my ex's). Chances are he will spend the rest of our kids' childhoods in prison -- which is fine by me, seeing as he wasn't really much a father to begin with. He already has three felonies and countless misdemeanors on his record.

My fiancŽ (total opposite of the ex - works hard, no drugs, no alcohol, loving, gentle, has kids of his own) wants to adopt the kids. My daughter is two and had only known him as her daddy for the last year (she spontaneously called him daddy, mimicking his daughter, and he looked at her, shrugged, and said "I love you and you're my baby girl, so you can call me daddy if you want). She has no recall of her biological dad even after videos and pictures. My son, who is eight, told me that he wants to drop his father's last name and use mine until I get married. Then he wants my fiancŽ to be his father and he wants to have his last name.

Please tell me that I have a leg to stand on to take this to court because I know without a doubt that my fiancŽ is more in their best interest than their biological father will ever be.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing your answers.

[ScottGem]

First, you will need to be married. But there is a good chance that a court will grant the adoption even if the bio father refuses to agree.

You need an attorney to prepare the paperwork, so start shopping around for one now. The attorney will tell you exactly what you have to do. You do the whole thing as part of the adoption, not first terminate his rights.

As to your son using your name, he can use any name he wants to as long as there is no intent to defraud. Except where a legal name is required, he can use your name or your fiancee's name. Most schools will allow him to use whatever name except on his official record.

[MomtoJoe_Lesli]

I handled my divorce decree, and several other legal matters on my own. Will a judge allow me to file for adoption pro se or do I have to have an attorney? All I really need to do it on my own is the source to get the forms/documents and instructions on how to file.

Thanks!

[Fr_Chuck]

You will have to be married to your new husband for at least a year in Texas for adoption to be considered,

If the ex will just sign off to allow the adoption you may be able to handle it.

But if he will not sign and you have to show cause, use an attorney, since this can get very complicated and one miss filing gets it all dismissed.

[ScottGem]

Agreed, a divorce and an adoption are different animals. A divorce is a lot simpler and can be done pro se. I would NOT recommend an adoption be done pro se, especially if the bio father refuses. At the very least I would have an attorney or para-legal prepare the petition and paperwork and then represent yourself in court.

Since you have plenty of time before you can submit the petition, you can shop around, get a cost and save up.

[JudyKayTee]

The forms are available here - Texas Vital Statistics ? Forms

I'll echo what everyone else said - I would NOT do this on my own, without legal representation or review.