[frightenedmotherinnj]

I apologize for the fact that I am see this question is asked frequently, but I have yet to find a similar thread that would relate mostly to my situation. I currently reside in the state of NJ, but have had past family court hearing in the state of NY from when I lived in NY with my two minor children. The father of my children is serving his second prison sentence for a violent felony. He was out of prison, and played a role in my son's life for a total of 11 months before being reincarcerated. During his time of release there was extensive physical and mental abuse towards me and my son by his father. None of this abuse, unfortunately, was documented or reported out of my own fear, pride, and stupidity. However, I do have friends and family who can witness to it. My son was 2 years old at the time of his release, and 3 at the time of his rearrest. My daughter was one month old when he was locked up. We had lost custody through CPS due to drug abuse, and neglect. I have since cleaned up my life. I gained custody back of my children a little over a year later. I have had custody since, and my children are well provided for and taken care of. I have been sober for over 5 years. Anyway, time to get to the question. This man and I were married after he was locked up, because I was still afraid of him and what his family might do to me or the children. WE have since been divorced, I was the only parent granted back custody and rights to the children. He was granted visitation as long as he provided the funds and bus tickets for the children and I to come visit him in prison, he never followed through with his end of the agreement, so the children have not seen him in approximately 4 years. They have not spoken to him in over a year, or received letters. WE have moved, and out of fear of him I have not given him or his family our new address, they do have the phone number where we are. They also have my old address where letters could easily be sent and forwarded to me.

I am afraid of this man to a point I can not even explain. I know in my heart if he finds us he will terrorize us, endanger his children, maybe even resort to murder or kidnapping or worse. Do I have any legal grounds to terminate his rights? What are my options? I can not afford a good lawyer. I now have a live in boyfriend who my children call daddy and want to be their father at the ages of 8 and 5 does that count for anything?? PLEASE some one help me... he gets out in 15 months and I fear we are running out of time and options...

[ScottGem]

Your situation is not that uncommon and there are several threads that provide an answer.

As I'm sure you have read, generally courts are very reluctant to terminate parental rights. They will do so generally in two situations; to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child.

So, if you feel you can prove he is a danger, you prepare a case and bring it to the NY court that issued the original order for a TPR. I would strongly recommend contacting an attorney who can advise you of the odds of winning.

But frankly, if he's not exercising his rights, why bother. When he gets out of jail, you can then see about a TPR.