[CloverP]

I am 26 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years and there is a problem which I am struggling to deal with which has been made worse in my mind recently.

When I first met my boyfriend's friend "Jake" he had a girlfriend who I was happy to meet. There was always mention of his girlfriend "Margaret"'s sister being jealous of me as she had a crush on my boyfriend. I never took it seriously as I thought it was just a joke and it didn't bother me at all.

However, when I started gaming online in a group with my boyfriend and his "jake and Margaret" I noticed that there were always messages pinging up on my bf's computer whilst we were all on live chat and it turns out it was normally her. Then my boyfriend started staying up all night long gaming in the same room as me and I started getting agitated and paranoid about the fairly frequent messaging on the xbox back and forth every night - whilst I was trying to sleep. I got so tired and depressed that it was affecting my work as I couldn't get up on time. The other thing was that my boyfriend would game until just before I was due to get up and then sleep during the day.

I admit to looking for the messages in early stages of asamed suspicion and found messages with 6 x's from her to him. There is no way of knowing what he responded.

Then a few months later my boyfriend asked me to send a text to his friend, so I tried to send one and his messages were full. I asked if I could delete an outbox message - he said yeah and I opened one to "Margaret" which read:

Hey. I turned into a squirrel tonight lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx don't tell Jake"

This threw me completely - I couldn't believe my eyes! I tried to find my car keys and couldn't so I could get away from he situation. I asked my boyfriend if he still loved me and he said yes... Why? I told him I'd just read a message with 11 kisses to "

This threw me completely - I couldn't believe my eyes! I tried to find my car keys and couldn't so I could get away from he situation. I asked my boyfriend if he still loved me and he said yes... Why? I told him I'd just read a message with 11 kisses to " and got angry/defensive and said that he text her that because it was a joke and that he was only texting that many kisses to make a point that he was exaggerating the number of kisses she usually messages him. When I asked him why it said not to tell her boyfriend - he said that was relating to 'him turning into a squirrel'.. (which I don't get).

I ended up apologising for reading the message.


And things have gradually got better over the last year although I am still angry with " and got angry/defensive and said that he text her that because it was a joke and that he was only texting that many kisses to make a point that he was exaggerating the number of kisses she usually messages him. When I asked him why it said not to tell her boyfriend - he said that was relating to 'him turning into a squirrel' ... ? (which I don't get).

I ended up apologising for reading the message.


And things have gradually got better over the last year although I am still angry with " for thinking its OK to text message him x's. I even asked her online last year why she always texts my boyfriend - she didn't respond to me but immediately phoned him to ask if she'd done something wrong. He replied that she could phone or text whenever she wants.

And now to put the icing on the cake she is having a baby with her boyfriend and told my boyfriend to be the "GODFATHER".

To sum it up I was incredibly upset about the messaging back and forth, and I hink insecure and jealous of my boyfriend's friendship with her.

Help. What should I do and what do you think of this situation please - honestly.

Thanks.

[Jake2008]

I read this two ways.

There is absolutely nothing going on.

And, there is absolutely nothing going on.

She has an overly chummy online relationship with your boyfriend, but, from what you have said, that is as far as its ever gone.

She is also in a serious relationship with a man, and is having his baby.

That she has chosen your boyfriend to be Godfather, is, for many, an honour. But, in my opinion, not something most people take seriously enough to do the expected requirements of that designation. I have been a Godparent to several babies, and all but one has moved away, drifted away, and/or didn't expect as much involvement as I was willing to give. There are all kinds of variables.

Is your boyfriend working? I'm not sure why he can sleep all day, and play games all night.

I'm thinking that there might be more to this. Is there anything else driving this suspicion of..?

[talaniman]

I think you are worked up over nothing right now. Seems they were tight before you joined the group. I doubt there is any thing going on at all between the friends girl friend, and your boyfriend, I mean even the texts X's are not enough to get worked up over.

There has to be other things going on besides this girl, because this seems to be nothing but you.

So what's really happening here is my question?