[eddie5498]

I had been seeng him for only 3 months but he said he loved me and missed me and wanted to be serious. Now it has turned into blaming me and snapping at me for things which are not my fault. I found out that his ex of 7 months ago had his baby 2 weeks ago. I asked him a long while ago if it was his and he said it wasn't but he knew it was. Meanwhile he has been going full on with me wanting a relationship , going away to hotels and now on xmas day he blew his lid at me and picked fault with me after visiting her a home with the baby. On top of that his other ex had given him grief. Iam upset as I originally offered to help him and support him but it all got too much when he started to take things out on me.

[tickle]

I had been seeng him for only 3 months but he said he loved me and missed me and wanted to be serious. Now it has turned into blaming me and snapping at me for things which are not my fault. I found out that his ex of 7 months ago had his baby 2 weeks ago. I asked him a long while ago if it was his and he said it wasn't but he knew it was. Meanwhile he has been going full on with me wanting a relationship , going away to hotels and now on xmas day he blew his lid at me and picked fault with me after visiting her a home with the baby. On top of that his other ex had given him grief. Iam upset as I originally offered to help him and support him but it all got too much when he started to take things out on me.

Time for you to bow out for a while until he comes to grips with being a father responsible for someone else other then himself. I don't think you would want to play second fiddle to this arrangement.

[JudyKayTee]

It sounds like this is not a balanced relatonship - and, yes, he's undoubtedly taking out his frustration and unhappiness on you.

If you are in a relationship you have to talk to him about this issue. You will either settle things between you or the relationship will end.

Unfortunately (and I am referring to the title of this thread, "My boyfriends ex just had a baby, how do I handle it?") that baby - if you are in a relationship with him - is now part of your life.

I'd be more concerned that your relationship started with a lie about the paternity of the child.

[eddie5498]

I have backed out of it finally admitting that I could not handle the situation. I could if he had involved me to begin with by being honest a long time ago and let her know of my existence. It was just feeling to me like he might go back to her despite him reassuring me twice that he was not going to do that. I was pregnant myself to someone who didn't want to know as he hasn't with her for the time she was pregnant. Funny though now it has been born he is keen to be a big part of its life but hasn't wanted her throughout it. For me I made a decision to have a termination so it has been a bit of a double whammy. Think the person I was with before would have been a part of mychilds life once born , he always had a close bond after keeping his eye on me although we never got back. Oh dear , just hurts a lot at the moment. Know her situation and handled it pretty much the same when I was in it, never putting pressure on the guy and handling it all alone. If he had really loved me we would have sen this through together but he hasn't begged me to still give it a go. Can't help feeling hurt at the mo and shocked by it all really .

[eddie5498]

I would have supported him and taken it on with him and had the bay here when it was his turn , you have to take the rough with the smooth but just couldn't handle him taking things ou on me , too much for me after a previous verbally abusive relationship . Just missing his company and the laughs of him coming here and playing barry white and having a laugh. I tried but ended up looking miserable but am going to miss him and its been another disastrous christmas..

[JudyKayTee]

The holidays are a rough time BUT sometimes being WITH someone is worse than being alone. Unfortunately how you handled things doesn't change how other people handle things. If the "ex" wants him back and is using the baby as bait, there's little you can do.

I'm sorry you are suffering through this.

[LearningAsIGo]

I'm sorry you're going through this but from the sounds of it, you were extremely wise to leave him.

[eddie5498]

I had reservations due to his manic behavior withwmen over the last year due to a previously failed relationship. He nagged and nagged me togive it a go with him until I did , and he kept pushing for a relationship knowing that this girl was pregnant. I had known him for a year prior to going out with him , can't getout of my head how keen he was . But only 3 weeks into the relatonship anoher woman friend was texting and ringing at 1 in the morning, he was defensie of her so I walked home that night, next day he begged me to carry on saying he though a lot about me. Then we had unsetlement becase I began to hear things i.e. he lost his drivig licence for 18 months but I had lent him my car not knowing. Everyone else knew but me. Another ex was looking for him as she had lent him 35.000 pounds in dribs and drabs and now wants it back. He already has 3 children to another relationship with hs ex of 11 years and now she wants to be involved wth the new mother . She still seems to wear the trousers in his life. She is still tryg to get settlement from when they split 2 years ago. He recently wanted to start a business here in Yorkshire , gt all the locals embroiled but didn't ome you with the money ~. My instincts told me to not touch him without knowing all of this. I asked why he wasn't honest about stuff and he said he hadn't wanted the baby issue to put me off. Somewere underneath this is a genuine guy with a mum brothers and a conscience underneath to stick by his chldren. He told me is assets were frozen by his ex and they were in a bank account abroad. Must admit I did become a bit suss about this.

[eddie5498]

Sorry on writing the above I am not drunk my keyboard is playing up on the computer hence the spelling mistakes.