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    karimalamin's Avatar
    karimalamin Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 26, 2011, 05:25 PM
    Crush on friend
    I am suffering and I desperately need your help. My name is Karim from Lebanon and am a male and 19 years old. I have had a crush on my friend who happens to be a man and the first person I have ever loved! I don't want to be gay but I always fantasize about him. He has a very charming character; he's smart, handsome, muscled, and so self confident he blows me away every time I see him. He has everything I ever wanted and I think that's why I have this huge crush on him. I don't sleep at nights thinking about him and if we ever could be together.

    It's impossible anyway because he is very straight and our society is stupid. I have been living with that for a year now and was dealing fine with it until recently. He started changing the way he acts and he started ignoring me and not seeing me at all. I discovered that he is in love and am in so much pain because am losing him as a friend too.

    I feel so good when he is around and he isn't anymore and he doesn't seem to care at all! Please help me! I don't know what to do!

    **** moderator edited out email that was in violation of site rules.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 26, 2011, 05:48 PM
    I have merged your two posts please only start one thread per question. If you need to add more info, please just answer you own question with more info


    If he is straight, then there is no chance and you need to move on to find a man who is gay if that is your sexual desire.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Dec 26, 2011, 06:30 PM
    Maybe you are gay. Maybe you aren't. He isn't. He may realize your feelings and that's why he moved away.

    Move on.
    batmann123's Avatar
    batmann123 Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #4

    Dec 27, 2011, 02:01 AM
    Tell him the truth honey,I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT.
    If he don't accept you the way you are then move on with your life. Life is one and we have to live with it.
    Let me know if something happen? Good luck!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Dec 27, 2011, 05:32 AM
    If he's straight... then keep it to yourself. Or risk losing a friendship.

    He's not available just the same as if he was married or had a girlfriend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Dec 27, 2011, 12:18 PM
    Sorry guy, but you have been carried away by your crush. Its not your society that hold you back but him, because he doesn't see you the same way you see him.

    It happens, gay, straight, or in between, but you need to move on.
    karimalamin's Avatar
    karimalamin Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 28, 2011, 02:28 AM
    Thank you all for your helpful answers. However, I think the main issue is that the way he is treating me even thought we are friends is causing me pain. Regardless of if I have a crush on him or not, I feel that am losing him as a friend which is much harder to deal with than the fact that he is straight. I really don't know what to do; I think about him all day and night and its affecting my life.
    I thank the moderators for making this question viewable to me by moving it I appreciate it a lot.

    Thank you all :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Dec 28, 2011, 03:35 AM
    I can certainly understand the pain of your situation, and I can only suggest that you let time heal your wounds as you find ways to make yourself happy, through new friends, family, and activities. In time you will deal with your pain in more positive ways, by dealing with yourself, and not let the actions of others affect the feelings for yourself, or your life. Yes its not as easy as it sounds, its hard work, I know, so roll up your sleeves, and work on yourself, for yourself.
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