[ziplocked]

Hi,

I was dating this girl for 8 months. She and I had an amazing relationship and were truly love at first sight despite the fact that she didn't want to love anyone because of her history. A year before me, she was raped by her boyfriend of 3 years. Since that, she didn't feel like she could be loved or love anyone, but she and I quickly fell in love. We had our fair share of hardships as we were trying to get her past her trust issues and depression. But despite everything, she knew she wanted to get married to me and have a family. She knew this almost immediately upon meeting me.

We broke up because she had a weird feeling and was scared by it. The cause was that I started having my own problems and she felt like she couldn't take care of me because of hers. This was not true, but how she felt.

We broke up and still had strong feelings. We were both extremely hurt. We talked all the time. This has been going on for 2 months. She stills cares about me and loved me until she began dating a new guy.

Because of her history, she really just wants someone that can be honest with her and that can make her happy. She did not want to start dating him, but he was very sweet to her and so she decided to go out on a date. They have been dating a few weeks now, but she tells me she no longer loves me and that she loves him. She has not even told him that she loves him. She does not know if she sees having a future with him, but she says he makes her happy.

She has been helping me as she is very caring and I have been pretty depressed. I am still in love with her and I brought her flowers and a poem to her work. She said it meant a lot, but will not change anything. After that, we had two really great days of conversation. We shared a lot and it really was the best two days of our relationship. I needed time to mature and I feel I have. She even told me she can see that I grew up. Now her new boyfriend has asked her to stop talking to me. She understands this request and asked me to stop talking to her. She does not want to stop talking, but does want to respect him.

Does this seem like a rebound or could she truly love him? If she does love him, why does she still care about me?

I tried being very friendly and I even gave her advice on how to not make some of the same mistakes with him that she made with me. I want to win her back, but I do not know what the best way to do this would be. Should I go no contact? I almost guarantee I will see her around because we go to many of the same places. I do not know what to do. I love her so much and we both have identified some of the problems we had and actually did change. If we were to get back together, I have no doubt that it would be perfect. Like I said, the past two days have been the best of our relationship because all the things we said were so honest and meaningful. But it was actually two days ago that she told me she loves this guy. But I really think it is only because she was sad and he made her feel good by being supportive.

[Kahani Punjab]

Zip Locked,

Welcome to this beautiful site, first!

Friendship, the real one, is more about giving and less about taking. Do not expect much, but try hard. True love is accepting the others as they are and as they are not. Try, but not lose heart, not even lose hope and even if you fail, carry on. Life is big and vast, full of opportunities. Move on, for your own sake!

Even as the opinions differ from person to person, my personal perception is that if she states/says, she loves him you SHOULD take her word for it. And, when she asks you not to contact her, leave her. Do not spoil your energy and time.

[amicon]

If she tells you she loves him you should take her word for it.

As she has asked you to not contact her,that's what I suggest you do.

You should do this for your own sake so you can heal and move on.

[talaniman]

I feel your pain, but stop contact with her because you will forever be in the friend zone with NO chance to get her back.

Yes NO CONTACT whatsoever is for you.

[vanheart]

I agree.

She is being honest. You can blame her past all you want. Including deciding to get with you.
She can do whatever she wants. She's doing it. Did it. Told you what she wants.

Give it to her. Let that be the last gift.

You deserve better treatment. Just like her.