[Lulabell81]

Me and my male colleague shared a kiss at the works party last year. I am in a relationship, so nothing ever became of it! About 5 months ago, other colleagues commented on our behavior toward each other, it naturally progressed to texts messages. Innocent at first, but as the weeks/months went out they became more intense and pointed out that we both wanted more.

I am still in the relationship but haven't been happy for at least a year, this is the reason me and the colleague never went beyond texts. However knowing that we both wanted more we planned on moving things on. We met at work and shared a few kisses which we both agreed made us want each other more!

However, out of the blue, my colleague has backed away completely, leaving me slightly confused.
Texts have grounded to a halt and he gives me short answers and direct to the point, not flirty like they used to be! He says he feels guilty about my boyfriend, although we have discussed this may times over the 4 months and it was never a problem! The only thing I done was drunkly sent him a message telling him I perhaps liked him more than I should given my situation! But he said this had no impact on his choice to back off!
He even went on holiday and text me the moment he got home, which makes me wonder, is his guilt perhaps down to the fact that my feelings aren't a one way thing! Could he be feeling guilty because he has feelings for me? My friends think he cares, why else would we talk the way we do and meet a work for kisses!

I am so confused! I'm not one for showing my feelings, so for openly admitting that I do care for him, is a big deal to me. It makes seeing him at work awkward and unsure of how to act around him!
He wanted these things just as much as me - he would write me notes on where and when to meet him for kisses and then tell me how much he wanted me!

I'm confused. I am in a relationship, I know it's wrong, but I have been so unhappy for such a long time - I liked this guy at work for years but always too scared to make a move... Now I feel like an idiot for falling for him like I have!

I just need someone to help me understand what has made him change, literally, within one day!
Does he care for me, but just too scared to admit it?

[Fr_Chuck]

End your relationship and start dating him if you want, It is not right to treat your partner wrong.

[vanheart]

That's all wrong from the beginning.

Co-worker, you have a boyfriend, continuing, people gossiping. At work.
Should I go on?

What kind of girl are you? What's your boyfriend have to say about all of this?

So you kissed. No one forced you. Or forces you, period.

Sounds like you are after your co-worker. Not who you are with.
Figure that crap out.
Whattya want?

If I was your boyfriend & knew about this, I would question being with you.
Probably dump your a$$...

[Lulabell81]

I know it's wrong, don't make me feel worse than I already do!
I do feel bad about it :(

[talaniman]

I think you have to accept that he was not going to help you cheat, he was not going to further complicate where he works by getting into something serious with a co worker. He was not going to be foolish and fall for someone who has a boyfriend, and could dump him at anytime. He didn't want to be a distraction for a female in an unhappy relationship. He woke up to what he was doing is WRONG.

That's why he put the brakes on before any more damage could be done.

Sorry if you feel bad about yourself, but you can change that by being honest with yourself and handling your business properly at home first, before you go about ruining your work place life.

[pandead]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to vanheart again.

1 - Stop cheating.
2 - Give yourself a break from guys. Realize you don't constantly need a man.
3 - Learn to love yourself.

If I had feeling for someone at work who was in a relationship and still kissed me, I wouldn't even last as long as your co-worker did. I'd think "if she does it to her boyfriend, she will do it to me if I date this girl."

Maybe he does too.

[mmresd]

End your relationship and then start talking to him again. You are already disrespecting the relationship, why would he want to be with someone that does that if one day he might be the boyfriend getting cheated on? Is not weird at all to back away, I would have myself. Break up with your current boyfriend and then see where things go with this guy, at least you know he is respectful, he did respect your relationship more than you do.