[sanma]

I have girl friend and at the same time I have strong relationship with my work colleague. I respect her, I have a feeling for her but I don't want it to be love. Unfortunately she have told me that she is in love with me so I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her but I'm in love with my girlfriend.the question is I have to cut my relation with my colleague or to love her and leave my girl friend I don't want two of them. What can I do? Please help me. Thanks in advance.

[joypulv]

You aren't in love with the woman at work, so how can this possibly be a question of what to do?
You tell her that she is a wonderful person whom you admire and respect but just aren't in love with, and ask her if she would like you to steer clear of her or not, and if yes, exactly in what ways. Be VERY careful to be nice but totally clear, because relationships at work that backfire can mean office tension and loss of jobs for both of you.

[sanma]

The question is I do what u have told me but we had been together for long time and we had highly interacted we shared a lot of things and I don't want to lose her permanently. She couldn't imagine me in deferent way. I don't want to end up our relationship like this. Why don't we be just friends or why don't we have sisterly brotherly relationship rather than ending like this?

[answerme_tender]

Sanma,

Shame on you!! If you have a great girlfriend who loves you and you say you love her, then you should have be man enough to tell this co-worker that you are in a great relationshp and to respect those boundries.

You have allowed this working relationship to move past just friendship, and for some reason she is developing feelings for you---You need to apparently stop hanging out so much together outside of work!!

Just be friendly at work, don't do anything outside, including texting or phone calls. You shouldn't be doing that with a woman you work with anyway, I am surprised your girlfriend hasn't said anything. Don't throw away a great relationship!

[talaniman]

Why can't you be honest with her, and let her have time to adjust to the truth of the matter, and she will, and better than you think she will, then friendship can be maintained. But if you are afraid of things in your own mind, for selfish reasons of your own, you do no one any good. That's not being a very good friend is it?

A true friend would understand, be flattered, but still be honest, and understand she needs time. Give it to her, on her own terms.

[joypulv]

Why can't you be just friends? BECAUSE she told you why - she is in love with you. If you can't understand it and can't appreciate what she is going through, you are not only selfish, you are clueless. You are only torturing her by continuing on this way. Set those limits.