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Confuessmom831 · Nov 11, 2011, 03:58 PM

I have been with him for 4 1/2 years. We been engaged twice. He always makes up lame excuses why, like we fight, which is lie because its about him helping me with our kids, and one that's very ill.

I been doing everything to take care my kids, I have to fight just to get him to visit his kids! He says he loves me ,but actions speak louder than words! Now once again he dumps me and then turns and tells my kid his first name instead of dad. I told him to leave and leave me and my kids alone! Why is he like this? He seems hot and cold. One minute in love the next he wants dump me? What's his problem ?

Homegirl 50 · Nov 11, 2011, 04:24 PM

Making babies with you is one thing, committing is something different.
Stop wasting your time with this guy. He is not ready to be a responsible father or spouse.

talaniman · Nov 12, 2011, 12:53 PM

I think court ordered child support is your solution, then maybe you could break this cycle of emotional tug of war.

Confuessmom831 · Nov 12, 2011, 02:14 PM

I have court order child support, I was told I needed to seek a meadiater first before court, nothing phases him except no contact. I was looking into getting full custody ,he has stated he won't let me move out of county unless I have his permission with his kids! When I cutt communication and it don't change much because he hardly comes around to see them n he just lives a few blocks away.at his moms house!

talaniman · Nov 12, 2011, 02:22 PM

I know it's a long drawn out process, but going through it is one one of getting a fair shake, and knowing what you can and cannot do for yourself, and your kids.

Until its over and you have everything in writing, you really don't have to believe a word he says. Nor should you.

vanheart · Nov 12, 2011, 11:15 PM

I agree w/Tal.

The order is to get this all legally settled.

He doesn't want to see the kids or help out with them.
Ever, from the sounds of things.

Stay on a path without him.
Being a father is one thing. Being committed is another.

You & your kids are #1, you can think about the whys later.
You'll have lots of time to do that.

Confuessmom831 · Nov 13, 2011, 04:26 PM

Thank you all for your response,its been so confussing all year!! As much as it hurts my kids n me its better this way, I have a letter of him giving me custody? Do I still need to go to court?

talaniman · Nov 13, 2011, 04:31 PM

Yes! Make it official, just to make sure all your "I's" are dotted, and "T's" are crossed.