Check out some similar questions!

jetgemini · Oct 28, 2011, 03:35 AM

My adult daughter called me up last night and told me she believes I am an alcoholic. I am 63 years old and really hurt and offended. I always imagined that we were close but I guess that the reality is that she does not even know me. I worked with women in recovery for years and I think I can recognize the signs of substance abuse. I have decided to stop contact with her until I get an apology. Unfortunately she will keep my precious granddaughter from me so I guess her word on this will be the last one.

jenniepepsi · Oct 28, 2011, 01:48 PM

Now that you have your own thread...

It sounds like you were hurt, and went on the offensive, and now you refuse to speak to her until she apologizes. It sounds more to me like she may have been concerned for you. Now you refuse to speak to her until she says she is sorry for her opinion/feelings. You will never see your grandchild if you do not swallow your pride and get to the bottom of this. SPEAK to your daughter. Don't continue the act of silence.

Is it possible, even slightly that she is right, and you do have a problem with alcohol.

If not, is it possible that she may just THINK you do, and all she needs is for you to talk to her and reassure her?

Keeping up the silent treatment just because your feelings got hurt is no way to make this better. She has nothing to apologies for, and you will not see them again until you are willing to talk about it.

DoulaLC · Oct 28, 2011, 02:16 PM

Do you drink? How often? Do you drink on your own on a regular basis? Do you drink daily? When you do drink, is it a substantial amount, and do you become drunk? Ever had a DUI?

Is there any reason that you can honestly think of that your daughter may have to be concerned? It is difficult to imagine that she would come up with that out of the blue unless there is something else going on in your relationship with her and she is making up excuses.

That you may recognize substance abuse in someone else, actually means very little in this regard. Many people who abuse some type of substance won't see it in themselves.

Instead of the silent treatment, which will get you nowhere, why not ask your daughter to explain why she feels that way. Then you can have the opportunity to discuss her concerns and explain why you feel she is incorrect. The way you are going about it closes all the doors and what does it get you?

Take sometime to cool off and give it some more thought.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 28, 2011, 03:01 PM

I am not saying this is you, but if you work with those with drinking problems, you know first the person effected seldom sees the problem.

Also almost 100 percent of the people when they are in the middle don't know and never admit they have a problem.

So your daughter may well just be concerned over what she sees is a drinking problem.

So you don't have a problem, you know the drill, prove it, put any drink away for a week, and see what happens.