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chuff · Mar 8, 2007, 04:35 PM

"LBP disagrees: I like the letter, too... But to say something like that isn't personal just isn't the truth. When someone rejects, no matter their intentions, it's personal."

Not at all. If someone has owns a business that requires there attention 16 hours out of the day and they don't have time for dating and reject someone it's not personal. It's reality. If someone just broke off a 5 year relationship and the following week someone asks them out and get denied, it's not personal, it's bad timing. I could come up with 20 more scenarios as could you where rejection wasn't personal.

LBP · Mar 8, 2007, 04:54 PM

Maybe not for one side...

talaniman · Mar 8, 2007, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by LBP

Maybe not for one side...

Life hurts sometimes and just as there is pleasure there is pain. That's just life, and you take the good with the bad.

Nosnosna · Mar 8, 2007, 05:28 PM

You can take anything you want personally, but that doesn't make it personal.

There's a simple test: Is this something that would affect any relationship, or is it specific to the relationship with me? If it's the former, it's not personal. If it's the latter, it is personal. You just have to keep in mind the fact that not everything in the other person's life has anything to do with you.

If you take everything personally, then you've earned the pain you get. Not deserve, since almost nobody deserves to be hurt, but definitely earned.

LBP · Mar 8, 2007, 06:05 PM

Maybe I just define that word differently... You can say it's not personal, but someone is still telling you with complete confidence that their life would be better off without you... I mean, you can be stoic about it, but unless you're fairly cold it's still going to hurt and yes it IS still going to be personal... If the person in question is serious about the relationship, they're not going to do that. If they have the perfect partner then do they really just go and dump them for the sake of a job?

Is a job ever worth that? I mean, no one ever wishes on their deathbed that they'd put more time into their work.

talaniman · Mar 8, 2007, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by LBP

Maybe I just define that word differently... You can say it's not personal, but someone is still telling you with complete confidence that their life would be better off without you... I mean, you can be stoic about it, but unless you're fairly cold it's still going to hurt and yes it IS still going to be personal... If the person in question is serious about the relationship, they're not going to do that. If they have the perfect partner then do they really just go and dump them for the sake of a job?

Is a job ever worth that? I mean, no one ever wishes on their deathbed that they'd put more time into their work.

First you are very sensitive, understandable given what you've been through. Second, you may try hard and think you're the perfect partner, but that judgement is not your call. As humans we all have our own take on things and when a female doesn't have that feeling for you its her call and doesn't mean you have no worth, she just doesn't have that feeling. Work on the self esteem and self confidence, as your judgement can be clouded by the emotions you feel. Accept that this one wasn't the one, and don't let it affect how you feel about yourself. That's what healing is all about.

chuff · Mar 8, 2007, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by LBP

Maybe I just define that word differently... You can say it's not personal, but someone is still telling you with complete confidence that their life would be better off without you... I mean, you can be stoic about it, but unless you're fairly cold it's still going to hurt and yes it IS still going to be personal...

To add to what Tal has already said sometimes if you get dumped it's not because there life is going to be better. Maybe they have to devote more time to ailing parents or have issues from the past that interfere with getting close to someone. I'm fairly emotional, in fact many women are not as emotional as I am, but that doesn't mean I let there rejection define me. There rejection may not even be rejection, that's the definition your giving it. Give it another meaning such as a learning experience or period in your life but don't let one or a thousand people tell you rejection is the definition for who you are. I'm sure you heard Michael Jordon was rejected from his high school basketball team the first time he tried out. He didn't let that one moment or that one person who let him go define him.

Originally Posted by LBP

If the person in question is serious about the relationship, they're not going to do that. If they have the perfect partner then do they really just go and dump them for the sake of a job?

Is a job ever worth that? I mean, no one ever wishes on their deathbed that they'd put more time into their work.

But that depends on what there values are. If you value you job more than a relationship you work more. Some people don't value the job but value the security that the job brings, but still value that more than a relationship. As Wildcat says the relationship is part of your life, not your whole life.

wontbez · Mar 9, 2007, 12:11 AM

Dear Danielle, (like I care about hiding her name)

I'm sorry I didn't make the kind of money it would take to make you happy enough to want to stay with me. Thanks for leading me on though, I guess my heart wasn't what you were after by saying the things you said. I was a fool for thinking that the love I thought we had would have been enough. It's too bad the way the world works for people who still believe in old fashioned "all you need is love"

Guess I'll know better next time, thanks for making me stronger!

Over Over

LBP · Mar 9, 2007, 01:44 AM

For sure... Hope you guys don't think I'm still hung up on that girl. It's amazing, but these past few months have worked wonders for me... I hardly think of her anymore. I have a date on Monday with a beautiful girl, actually, who seems like a marvelous person... Here's hoping!

kaitou · Mar 25, 2007, 05:44 PM

Dear ex,

A few days ago our prof announced to the whole class that he needs to speak with you, you skipped class as usual. It's been almost 2 months since we broke up, and the last we had any contact was 1 month ago. So I saw no harm in informing you about what the prof said. So I did just that. I knew that being nice to you wouldn't mean anything to you, and I'm not trying to be nice to you to get you back or whatever, I'm over our relationship. I simply wanted to do something nice, since I still consider you as a friend. My intention was truly truly pure. But then I found myself getting upset at the fact that you didn't even say thanks. This might be a reflection of how immature I am, getting upset at a little thing like this.

From this I realize while I want to maintain some kind of friendship with you, you probably simply don't care about anything relating to me. And I realize any friendly/nice gesture I do for you would probably end up somehow hurting me, by your lack of response or something. I'll just feel rejected over and over again.

So today I took another step forward by deleting you off my msn contact list. I didn't block you. So if one day you want to be friends again or see how I'm doing, even years and years from now feel free to contact me.

I will no longer make any contact with you. Talaniman was right even sending a e-greeting birthday card would be too much. So I won't even do that on your birthday. Not because I forgot what day it is, not because I don't want you to have a happy birthday, not because I don't care, but because I'll probably feel sad that you didn't even reply to my e-greeting.

Anyway hope you're happy.

Sincerely,
Me

kelcii_x · Mar 31, 2007, 03:17 AM

Dear ex go get hit by a bus :D

X-stream87 · Mar 31, 2007, 08:09 AM

Dear ex,

Thanks for showing me how much four years is really worth once someone else comes along,

P.S. Go sit on a thumbtack.

chuff · Mar 31, 2007, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by kelcii_x

dear ex go get hit by a bus :D

Originally Posted by X-stream87

P.S. Go sit on a thumbtack.

What if the bus hit both of them and they fell onto the thumbtack? It would be like a two for one!

Allheart · Apr 14, 2007, 05:22 AM

Dear Mr. Cigarettes,

I miss you so very much. It's been three very long months that we have been apart. A part of me, a very big part of me, wants you back so much, even though, I know, you are not good for me.

I even went on medicine, which I just got off, to help me not want you anymore. The moment I stopped the medicine, the more my longing for you increased.

I love you, I hate you, I want you back but you make me stink. When you were in my life, I had to stand outside in the cold, in the blazing heat, in snow, in rain, and yet, a part of me is willing to do this all again.

You were my friend. Sometimes the only one who seemed to get me and boy do you have me. Before I go on and possibly forget, I want to be sure you do realize how very much, I do hate you. Not having you in my life makes me forgetful, foggy, sometimes cranky, hungry, oh yeah, and I'm healthier and smell so very pretty, big woop, I still miss you so much.

You have a strangle hold on some of my friends as well and I want you to leave them alone!! You are just awful to us all. No one likes you. You are not attractive. Like some of the others, I hope a big bus rides over you and crushes you to pieces!!

You make me sick! (literally) I will not allow you back in my life, no matter how hard you are trying to force your way back.

Mr. Cigarette, I hope you realize how awful you are. You will NEVER touch my lips again!! So stop pleading with me and infiltrating my thoughts. You are in my past and that's just where I am going to make you stay.

I do have one question though – was it as good for you as it was for me? Oh never mind!

I regret the day we met ! I am determined to stick to NO Contact and believe you me, it's not ploy to win you back!

Love and hate you always,
Allheart

Geoffersonairplane · Apr 14, 2007, 09:23 AM

Dear ex,

I can't be bothered to think of you anymore.

And banging on about you for so long has driven my friends and family crazy (almost), so I will cut that string you think I am attached to.

Geofferson

kazzz · Apr 14, 2007, 11:02 AM

Hi all. I hope to god that in however many years time I'm not still thinking about my ex.
Its been about 2 months so far.and at mo,I can't get him out of my head,but after reading these posts its quiet scary to think that I will never get over him.

nicstar · Apr 14, 2007, 11:57 AM

Dear Ex

You were my first love and I'll never love anyone like I loved you.
7 months ago we went on our first date and I got you the moment I met you and I'd like to think you got me too. We had such a lovely night and I'll never forget how well we clicked. I often go past the place of our first date on my lunch break and think I never thought 7 months ago we would be where we are now.
I only have nice memories of you, that's my heart taking over because you have messed up my head so much.
You knew how much I loved you, how I would do anything for you and how happy you made me feel. I think in some ways you took that for granted.
We had our rollercoaster ride for the first 5 months when there were times I couldn't see us lasting, then for that last month we seemed to sort everything out I was myself and you was yourself. We got on so well and everything seemed 'perfect'
So why 2 days before our 6 months anniversary did you cheat on me?
We talked about the future, going on holiday, my birthday and everything. I wasn't even scared about my new job because I knew that having you nothing else mattered. You told me your feelings were getting stronger that you loved spending time with me and talking to me on the phone (I miss our 2-3 hour convo's at night). This was Wednesday night then Thursday you kiss that girl - what was so special about her? What did she have that made you do it?
You have not only broken my heart but you have taken away everything I had, the confidence, the smiles and the happiness. You've left me in this emotional mess and you seem to be coping so fine!
How could you do this to me, did I really mean that little to you. I trusted you with my life and life doesn't seem so worth while any more! I can't even bring myself to talk to your sister who I got on with so well, she was like a sister to me as well.

I don't think I'll ever stop loving you ex, but I will get over you and re-build my life and I hope that when you feel about someone how I felt about that they do this to you. That would be the biggest punishment I could wish upon you.
But for now darling ex I have to move on and find myself who will love me the way that I wished you would love me. I will never trust a man again and for that I blame you.
I don't hate you ex but I have no respect for you.

Have a good life and say thank you to the girl that makes you feel how I do!

Love always

kazzz · Apr 14, 2007, 12:44 PM

Dear my sweetness

God damm I love you so so much.its been two months,I never thought you would ever do this to me. You knew you were my first love,the love of my life,I would ave died for u,over and over again.and I still would just to ave u.
Meeting you was the best thing ever,
Glad I didn't lose you to anyone and that you didn't cheat on me,but I think that would ave been easier than drugs.
Why did you ave to do it,if I meant so much to u, why ?
I believe you still love me and wished there was something I could do, but I know they isn't.
Its killing me to ave no contact with you,the person that was my life and soul for two years.
Now I ave to re-build my life that you destroyed,I will never hate you and will always love you with all my heart.
Get clean, follow your heart and be happy.

mckenzie134 · Apr 14, 2007, 08:36 PM

To my ex.

We did nt really argue and we didn't havea lot of fights .

You said you wanted abreak and maybethats cause I wanted to see you too much.
I gave you what I could and was always there for you, you you wold ring me at night and say am I calling you too much and id say no, now I wish I hadn't of answered all those calls cause you told me you wernt emotionally in love, that happened ecause I was there at theend for you and you even said you love to hearmy voice before you fall asleep at night. You trapped me into this false belief after 3 years that you really loved me and I went from being the kind and generous guy, and started having thoughts like what if someone elase had you and how lucky I was to have someone like you and how I just wanted to see you all the time. Well this backfired on me and you said you needed a break if only I had of done more for myself and not put everything into you , everything was going so fine when I was doing more by myself and making you wait for me but love got the better pf me and I gave you too much of e and you walked away. Its amazing how when a girl really starts to believe you want her a lot she backs down. I regret ever not just staying calm and enjoying my life and fitting you in where I could, imean that's just when love takes over your mind and its probably not even love its just a bit of insecurity worrying about if you are good enough or how can I please her mote should I get her this, if someone else was with her and they sasw er all the time then I wouldn't. I've worked out that's crap when I saw er less she was so keen to see me and we had so much fun on the times when we did catch up cause we hadn't spent all our times together that's what ade her feel so much like she wanted o be with me...

kazzz · Apr 15, 2007, 06:26 AM

To huny

U will be my only huny,I can't stop thinking of you and really want to.
Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I wudn't b in so much pain.but I'm glad I did,and I will never love any one as much as I love u, if you don't find your way back to me,how will I ever trust any man again. There was a time where I cudn't bear it when you went away to work for the weekend,yet now its been a month that I haven't seen you for, I had nothink to worry about when I'm with u,
I feel guilty about going out and enjoying myself without u,yet your probably avein a good time getting high.y are you all I can think about.
I hope your thinking about me to.
Please find your way back to me.
I love you very much huny.
Always yours
Mwaa