[EllieD89]

Let me start from the beginning. I've had my son (he's not my biological son, he's my fiance's) since he was 6 weeks old. The mother called up my fiancŽ and had asked him to take the baby for the weekend. Before the weekend even was close she called again and asked if it worked out this weekend would he mind keeping the baby because she "couldn't handle him and school". So we wound up keeping him... She took him for a weekend (friday to Monday) when he was 8 weeks old. She never took him again and still has yet to voluntarily take him since. Mind you he is almost 3 now. At the time my fiancŽ was not on the birth certificate when we first took him in May of 2009. He asked the court for custody in June 2009 after the mother stopped answering calls from us. They informed us that he would have to have paternity established. We finally got her to submit to paternity testing in October of 2009 after a warrant was put out for her arrest for failure to appear numerous times. Once paternity was established my fiancŽ petitioned the courts for custody. While waiting for that court date the case was combined with a child neglect and abuse case that was pending on all three of her children, including the baby we had because of allegations made while he was still in her care. On May 3, 2010 my fiancŽ was granted sole (full) custody of the child and she was ordered to pay child support and was granted state supervised visitation.
Now here is where we currently are. She has not paid any child support in just over a year. She has also never utilized her supervised visitation. She has not seen him except for that last date in court and only because I brought him with us to court to give her that right to see him. My number has never changed or been turned off, and I made the state aware of where we moved to when we did move. So there are no excuses in my opinion for her not have even tried to contact us in over a year. The child (my son) was recently diagnosed with autism, and being that I am his primary caretaker I have been dealing with a lot of services and officials on his behalf, but I have no legal right over him so therefor I can not sign any paperwork although I am the one usually available being that his father works a state job he can not take days off never mind the amount that he would have to if it wasn't for me requesting papers needing his signature be left or mailed. But this puts a delay on everything for my sons needs. I would like to adopt him being that I am the only mother he has ever really known. As well as it would make my life a lot easier to be able to sign his paperworks.
So my question now is if anyone knows any way to request the courts to terminate her parental right. I have called the family courts to ask and the lady who answered told me to call and ask a lawyer for the procedures. Unfortunately there are not enough hours in my day for me to meet with a lawyer nor do I have the financial means for such. So please any information would be very helpful. Thank you!

[Synnen]

Unfortunately, you NEED a lawyer.

Adoption, even step-parent adoption, is not something that should be undertaken without full understanding of your local adoption laws.

It's like if you break a bone. Sure, you CAN set it without a doctor, but really, if you want it done right with no future repercussions, you want your doctor to do it.

Most family law attorneys can give you an idea over the phone as to their cost and how long the procedure should take. Given the history that you've given here, it should not be a difficult case to prove the mother unfit so that you the court terminates her rights so that you can adopt.

HOWEVER--if done wrong, it can be a complete waste of time and money, because about the only thing that CAN overturn an adoption is incorrect procedures doing it the first time.

Get a lawyer. It will be worth it in the end.

[lostinwa]

Most states have free legal websites. I.e. OregonLawhelp.org. I would file abandonment forms and go from there. Good luck!