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Stressed93 · Oct 20, 2011, 05:28 PM

I am so stuck. I am currently not living at home (rather not say where) but I am a young mother who needs to leave the state because I feel like no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try they will take my baby! I am dealing with dss and a whole bunch of other people who think I'm not ready to live on my own and that I need to live in a transitional living place. I don't want to live there and I just want to be with my baby and have nobody try and take him away from me! Help! What do I do? If I move to a different state will they try and take my baby there?

ScottGem · Oct 20, 2011, 06:18 PM

First, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

Second, where is the father in all this? If you leave the state, the father can compel that you return or at least return the child.

For us to really help you, we need more details. How old are you? Where is the father? Were you married to him? Why is DSS involved?

cdad · Oct 20, 2011, 06:19 PM

If DSS is after you and they think something is up when you leave the state they may press charges of some kind against you and not only take the child but throw you in jail.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 20, 2011, 06:59 PM

Agree, if DSS is already involved and has ordered you to be in special housing, if you refuse, they will order the child be taken, if you run, the order still stands and you will have the child taken when they are finally found.

The fact you run will show even more evidence that they were right.

Stressed93 · Oct 21, 2011, 08:04 AM

Very true. I got the suggestion from a friend and wasn't thinking to highly about it and was just curious. But I am 18. The father is involved to a certain extent... we live an hour and a half apart so its hard to find transportation and things like that. The father is 17 but turns 18 next month... so even though we are his parents I'm not even sure if either 1 of us have custody... even though my son lives with me. We live in New York. Dss is involved because cps got involved. Nothing to do with the baby! I'm not ordered to be in housing they just think its better for me because nobody thinks I'm ready to live on my own... which is bs. They (workers of mine) say that I have a choice in what I choose... but make it sound like I don't because they say "All we want is for your son to stay with you...your a great mother...blah blah blah..." and... "if you do this.. this... or this you have the risk of having your child taken away... so really I don't have a choice. But I feel I would be fine on my own (in my own appt). I wouldn't be totally alone because I would be in the same area with my family ad friends so I would have the support. I just feel like they are threating me with my child to get me to do what ever they want. The way I think of it... which probbly isn't true but this is how I feel... people have told me that they do what ever they can to take their cildren so they get more money... I feel like they are pushing me to the point where they want me to **** up so they can take him... like they are judging me by my age or something. I don't party... I don't drink... I don't smoke... cigarettes I do... but I do nothing illegal or anything bad for them to take my baby. (enough info? Lol) thank you for any help you can give!

AK lawyer · Oct 21, 2011, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by Stressed93

...
but i feel i would be fine on my own (in my own appt). i...

Have you rationally thought this out? For example, I don't know if you have a job now, but if you were to relocate, chances are that you wouldn't have one when you get there. Without a job, how do you expect to pay for an apartment?

Stressed93 · Oct 21, 2011, 09:42 AM

I'm not saying that I am going to leave state... it was just a suggestion brought up by someone. But no I do not have a job and currently applying for ssd or ssi.

ScottGem · Oct 21, 2011, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by Stressed93

but i feel i would be fine on my own (in my own appt). ...like they are judging me by my age or something. i dont party...i dont drink...i dont smoke...cigarettes i do...but i do nothing illegal or anything bad for them to take my baby. (enough info? lol) thank you for any help you can give!

You may think you can be fine, but you are barely an adult. How do you propose to pay rent, buy food, etc.

No you don't party, drink, etc. You just have sex with minors.

I'm not saying you are a bad person, I'm only saying you aren't looking at things objectively. You have already made some bad choices in your life and people are trying to help you and you are rebelling against that help.

Stressed93 · Oct 21, 2011, 03:38 PM

I was actually 17 when I got pregnant

ScottGem · Oct 21, 2011, 03:41 PM

And how does that change the fact that you have made bad choices?

Stressed93 · Oct 21, 2011, 03:45 PM

I'm not saying it doesn't. And I don't see any bad choices that I have made. I just don't understand thy people say I have a choice... but then make it seem like I really don't. If I didn't have a choice I don't know why they wouldt have told me in the first place.

ScottGem · Oct 21, 2011, 04:06 PM

You got pregnant at 17 with no husband, no job, no financial future and you don't see any bad choices? That's why you are being treated as you have. You are immature and in denial.

Yes you have choices, you can further ruin your life and your child's or you can do what's best for your future and your child's. Granted the alternative choices are not good ones but that doesn't make them less of a choice.

Stressed93 · Oct 21, 2011, 05:59 PM

Sadly I am not the only one in this world who has had a child and is young.

ScottGem · Oct 21, 2011, 06:09 PM

And that matters because? Of course you aren't. But we aren't talking about other people, we are talking about you. We are talking about your future and your child's future.

Synnen · Oct 21, 2011, 09:10 PM

And sorry---applying for SSI and SSDI is making the taxpayers pay for your apartment. I'd rather have you supervised myself if it means that I KNOW where my taxpayer money for your welfare is going, especially since you can't be counted upon to use birth control and make choices that will help you be successful in the future.

If you want to keep your child, then do what DSS says. Period.