[confused9672]

It's very confusing. I have been best friends with my friend for the past 6 years and she and her boyfriend are living together and have been dating for 2 years. We are all either 30 or close to 30, so not too young.

My dilemma is that we are all really close friends and I have been pretty close to the boyfriend for the past year. We hang out all together most of the time but also separately. I just recently started noticing weird actions from him though in the past month and it's been freaking me out. I love my best friend more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. I know he loves her too and they do talk about marriage and possibly starting a family together.

But recently when I hang out with them he's been making remarks about how happy he is to know me, and how awesome I am. Then once we were talking about them getting married and how I'd be a bridesmaid and he said "no you'd be the bride", followed by a "haha just kidding". Also, he's been extra touchy feely with trying to give me massages, etc.

We were all watching a movie recently and my friend fell asleep next to him on the couch and he rested his foot against mine until I had to tell him to move, then he hugged me during a suspenseful moment and I just get those vibes that he has feelings for me, and I can see it in the way he stares at me. I always blow him off and push myself away.

But I don't know what to say because he's never told me he likes me and talks about how much he loves my friend. It's uncomfortable to think of even mentioning something to him about it, let alone my friend since she'd be devastated. Help!

[talaniman]

You don't have to say anything to any one, but you still should maybe stay out of those situations where you are alone, and maybe have other things to do besides just hang with them. Its not unusual to develop feelings of attraction with people who are friends, and around each other, but make sure YOU are always following good behavior and judgement when dealing with either of them, and ignore him, or give him the evil eye when you aren't comfortable, or he crosses a line.

Never ever flirt, as its easy to get mixed signals, or mistaken intentions from people. Just do not entertain the thoughts, and handle yourself with class at all times.

No doubt that's what you have been doing, so keep doing it.

[vanheart]

Your loyalty is to your friend. Right?
"Best friend" as you put it.

You are the one putting yourself in that position. Not him. Hes got a girlfriend.

Its OK to be his friend, but there's also a line drawn in the sand.
Touching & what not? C'mon. Nip that in the bud.

I hope you know. "Best friends" don't play that.

Stop hanging with him. This is a potential messy disaster.

If he isn't happy w/her, then let them sort it for now.
Like I said, just be her friend, like before. But better.

Without turning on her boyfriend.