[bcgirl83]

Here we go. I started dating my boyfriend 14 months ago. About 8 months ago, we moved in together, into the house he and his brother own together. His brother was never friendly with me, but just stayed in his room. It was uncomfortable, so my boyfriend and I built a new house.

We went on vacation in the summer while still living with my boyfriend's brother. I returned to find my workboots and a bunch of kitchen stuff missing. When my boyfriend questioned him, he said he didn't do anything, and I need to pay closer attention to my stuff. Then about 2 weeks later, he got hammered. My boyfriend went into a coma-like sleep, so then his brother started calling me a ****, *****, whore, etc and slammed doors.

I didn't even want to go to the bathroom because of his raging. I considered climbing out the window to go to my friend's house. Then I grabbed a bag and left. The next day, we bagged up all of our stuff and put it in our room and stayed in our holiday trailer till our house was done.

Now the house is done. I went to get my stuff to out find my boyfriend's brother threw out my old iPhone, some pictures my mom made me for Christmas, and all my good clothes. My boyfriend acts like it isn't a big deal. And we are in our new house, so I should count my blessings and move on.

I'm so upset. And my boyfriend has no balls when it comes to his brother. What should I do?

[joypulv]

You should tell your boyfriend how you feel and listen to what he has to say. Then you should go somewhere alone and think: can you accept your boyfriend as he is, or not. If you can, then you have to be quiet from now on about his brother. If you can't, you have to break up.

Keep in mind that you are the fifth wheel. Two brothers share a house, and along comes someone who is new and not family. The brother doesn't have a girlfriend, maybe he wishes he does, maybe he doesn't, but you not only have his brother's time and attention but were also taking up room in the house. (Don't shoot me, the messenger, just trying to see what he might be going through.)

[0rphan]

This looks like two brothers who own their own house which is their territory,suddenly there is an intruder on their premises.
I suspect this is how the brother looks at it.
It seemed that you didn't get on from the start, which was a shame,it could have been so different for all of you,is there any chance that you could perhaps have a family meeting to clear the air,at the moment it's all about scoring points against each other,which will achieve nothing.
So yes, there has been some nasty things done and said,I think you have to put those behind you if you want to move on.
The brother, is he your boyfriends only family or his only brother? if this is the case then they will be speaking again at some point,they are brothers and will not hold a grudge for long no matter what it is.

I think the problem that is bothering you the most,is the fact that your boyfriend did not fight your corner... this I can understand.
I think you both need to sit and discuss this, the problems with the brother... your things going missing,the language and attitude that was used toward you etc etc...
Your boyfriend may feel that he's already said enough to his brother, and now that your in your own house it's better to leave well alone,however, I am sure that you may be thinking if this should happen again or indeed with someone else would he stand up for you!

Only you know what kind of person your boyfriend is,so only you can decide.Have your discussion calmly bring up all the points that are bothering you... then make your decision to go or stay.