[BigTrain]

When my wife and I first met... she had a son from a previous relationship. We've been together for over two years now and the father has never tried to make any contact with his son or my wife (not even her family). He has only met the little guy twice in his six years of life for a grand total of a few hours. As far as the boy is concerned... I am his daddy. His biological donor has a pretty long history of arrests for crimes he has committed. He has even done time (2yrs.) for sexual acts against minors. Currently he is a register sex offender. Also... his name is not on the birth certificate. Is there any way for him to suddenly appear and claim rights? Also, would it be difficult for him to get any type of custody since he has never been involved with his son's life and never spent a dime to support him? I just don't want this to tear apart this little guy's life... he is such a wonderful little boy and I consider him my own flesh and blood.

[RubyPitbull]

First let me say how admirable you are that you have treated this boy as your own and that you have the love and concern for him that you do. You sound like a very nice man.

I am assuming from your posting that she has full custody. Since the ex does not pay child support, have you discussed with your wife about you adopting her son and being his legal father? This would be the best way to ensure that the birth father's legal rights are cut off. He may not be on the birth certificate, but he could always pop up and start insisting on seeing his boy. It has already been acertained by his limited contact that he is the father.

The ex could petition the court for custody, but it would be difficult for him to get it considering his past and the fact that he has not paid child support. You would need a good lawyer to fight it if this happens. Do you think if approached to sign away his rights, that he would suddenly start intruding in your lives, looking for money or insist on parental visitation rights?

My suggestion would be to contact a family lawyer in your area and find out what your options are and if there is a way to make sure this man is kept away from the boy. Usually, they don't charge for initial consultation. Or, you can call family & children services in your area and see if they have any legal advocates on staff that can answer your questions and tell you how to proceed if you want to adopt him.

I hope this helps.