[angelorion]

I find myself always changing for a friendship, almost like molding myself to be more compatible to another person. I realized soon or later I lost the original person I was before certain friendships started. I'm at a lost, my boyfriend says he misses the old me. But I don't know how to be the old me..

I don't know why but whenever I hang out with someone, I try to be into the same things they are into. Soon I totally change myself without realizing. I meet my boyfriend going through a stage were all my friends were gothic and so was I.. But soon I lost my friends and got new friends and they were all into Japanese anime.. So was I.. Than I meet his mother and she dislike me wearing dark clothes and acting weird..

I ended up hanging out with her, so she would like me and not hate since I was together with her son.. Sadly she got me into shopping, when before I hated shopping and love saving money. Next thing I know I'm burning a lot of money.. And I use to hate the color pink and now it's a favorite color?. I love cats and dislike dogs and now I like dogs cause she like dogs..

Now I'm in beauty school and everybody likes animal print and now I like animal print.. It's not like I'm doing that on purpose just I don't know why I'm self consciously changing for other people rather than staying myself..

I'm not sure if this problem sounds childish but I feel that I'm at a lost of who I really am..

[talaniman]

This is called people pleasing. It's a way to fit in. To be accepted. There could be a confidence problem, or lack of self esteem. Is that you?

[0rphan]

Hi angelorion,

I remember doing just that when I was a lot younger,just to please others and to be one of the crowd as it was then.
As I grew older I realised that I didn't have to say... YES... when I really meant.. NO.. from then on I just listened to my inner self and did/said what I thought was correct for me at the time.
I realised that every ones tastes and oppinions are different,in all aspects of life.
This is what makes us all originals,we are unique in every sense of the word,this also includes our thought patterns... our oppinions,our decisions and many other things are unique to each individual,there for if you want to disagree with your friend or you don't want to eat what ever they are having you have to say so... because this is you... and you are unique there is only one of you.

Eventually you will be proud of who you are,stand by your oppinions and stand up for what you truly believe in,not everyone will always agree with you,and that's fine because they are also an original.with their own values and oppinions.

Always be yourself..