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workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 05:34 PM

What would be the best way to tell your mom she needs to grow up?

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 05:39 PM

I'm a mom and know about moms growing up.

How old are you, and what exactly does she need to work on?

workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 05:46 PM

I'm 19, & my mom has 4 of my sisters to take care of, she wants to get out of her marriage but she can't because of her situation. She says something & then doesn't go through with it like looking for a job, also a lot of stuff she says doesn't make sense, it seems like to me & a lot of people that she's in her own world. I really feel that the older she gets the dumber she gets.

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 05:49 PM

I wonder how you can help her, instead of criticizing her.

How old is the youngest sib? Do you help around the house?

workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 05:55 PM

I have been told I have an attitude problem, so when she says dumb **** it makes me mad because I don't want my mom to be dumb like that, I would like to learn something from her instead of coming here to ask strangers question, you feel me? Also my youngest sister is 5, I help when I come around but me & my mom can't be together for a weekend w/out arguing. I want to make enough money to get here out of here situation, in her own spot, & going to school or getting a job.

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 06:08 PM

Are you out of high school? In college? Working?

If you don't argue or shout back at her AT ALL, what would happen?

workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 06:11 PM

I'm working & looking for another job, I graduated high school, & I graduated from cosmetology school, also I'm thinking about going back to school, & when we fight I usually leave because she likes to be in her own world & not listen to anybody when she's wrong

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 06:13 PM

Is she ever right?

(Yay! For school -- more cosmetology school?)

workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 06:26 PM

She barely ever is, but when she is I acknowledge it, & I might go back to school for business, Im done w/ cosmetology school

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 06:46 PM

What happens when you tell her she's right?

What's your plan for the future by going to business school

workinem · Oct 9, 2011, 06:55 PM

She tries to make it seem like she's always right, & I want to go to business school because there is always going to be business jobs, also I want to start by owning my salon

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2011, 07:00 PM

Can you afford to let her think she's right most of the time? Smile and give her a hug without arguing? (In other words, be the bigger person?)

I was so hoping you would say you want to own your own salon! YAY!!

workinem · Oct 10, 2011, 08:28 AM

I do sometimes but it doesn't make sense to me that I'm younger & I have to be the bigger person, I can't wait to own my own salon, why where you hoping I said that though?

Wondergirl · Oct 10, 2011, 08:44 AM

It sounds like the perfect blend -- learning cosmetology and then business = salon! Bingo!!

Even younger people can be the bigger person in a relationship. I know from doing counseling that the only way to make someone change is that you yourself make a change. If I'm a b!tch to my husband, guess how he reacts? If I'm agreeable and conversational, interested in the Chicago Bears, and I ask questions about yesterday's game, guess how he reacts then?

The same with your mom (except she probably doesn't care about the Chicago Bears, so don't go there... ).