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    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 9, 2011, 05:34 PM
    About my mom
    What would be the best way to tell your mom she needs to grow up?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Oct 9, 2011, 05:39 PM
    I'm a mom and know about moms growing up.

    How old are you, and what exactly does she need to work on?
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 9, 2011, 05:46 PM
    I'm 19, & my mom has 4 of my sisters to take care of, she wants to get out of her marriage but she can't because of her situation. She says something & then doesn't go through with it like looking for a job, also a lot of stuff she says doesn't make sense, it seems like to me & a lot of people that she's in her own world. I really feel that the older she gets the dumber she gets.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Oct 9, 2011, 05:49 PM
    I wonder how you can help her, instead of criticizing her.

    How old is the youngest sib? Do you help around the house?
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 9, 2011, 05:55 PM
    I have been told I have an attitude problem, so when she says dumb **** it makes me mad because I don't want my mom to be dumb like that, I would like to learn something from her instead of coming here to ask strangers question, you feel me? Also my youngest sister is 5, I help when I come around but me & my mom can't be together for a weekend w/out arguing. I want to make enough money to get here out of here situation, in her own spot, & going to school or getting a job.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:08 PM
    Are you out of high school? In college? Working?

    If you don't argue or shout back at her AT ALL, what would happen?
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:11 PM
    I'm working & looking for another job, I graduated high school, & I graduated from cosmetology school, also I'm thinking about going back to school, & when we fight I usually leave because she likes to be in her own world & not listen to anybody when she's wrong
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:13 PM
    Is she ever right?

    (Yay! For school -- more cosmetology school?)
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:26 PM
    She barely ever is, but when she is I acknowledge it, & I might go back to school for business, Im done w/ cosmetology school
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:46 PM
    What happens when you tell her she's right?

    What's your plan for the future by going to business school
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Oct 9, 2011, 06:55 PM
    She tries to make it seem like she's always right, & I want to go to business school because there is always going to be business jobs, also I want to start by owning my salon
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #12

    Oct 9, 2011, 07:00 PM
    Can you afford to let her think she's right most of the time? Smile and give her a hug without arguing? (In other words, be the bigger person?)

    I was so hoping you would say you want to own your own salon! YAY!!
    workinem's Avatar
    workinem Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Oct 10, 2011, 08:28 AM
    I do sometimes but it doesn't make sense to me that I'm younger & I have to be the bigger person, I can't wait to own my own salon, why where you hoping I said that though?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #14

    Oct 10, 2011, 08:44 AM
    It sounds like the perfect blend -- learning cosmetology and then business = salon! Bingo!!

    Even younger people can be the bigger person in a relationship. I know from doing counseling that the only way to make someone change is that you yourself make a change. If I'm a b!tch to my husband, guess how he reacts? If I'm agreeable and conversational, interested in the Chicago Bears, and I ask questions about yesterday's game, guess how he reacts then?

    The same with your mom (except she probably doesn't care about the Chicago Bears, so don't go there... ).

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