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jaime07 · Oct 6, 2011, 06:17 AM

So, I've been close to this guy for quite a while now. The problem is, he has a girlfriend of 2 and a half years. When they fight, he comes to me and cries to me. I also give him advice and comfort him when he's so down. The thing is, I try to help him bring his relationship with the girl on the right track, so that they can avoid fighting. Deep inside though, this hurts me a lot because I am in love with him. Our classmates always ask us if we're in a relationship because of our closeness. We know a lot of things about each other and according to him, I'm the only person he shares all his thoughts to. I don't know what to do. I want to tell him that I love him, but should I do it? Every time the girl hurts him, I have the urge to tell him to break up with her but I can't do that because I don't want him to end up sad when they break up. What do you think should I do? Do you I have a chance? Thanks.

DaniCalifornia · Oct 6, 2011, 06:53 AM

The fact that they are arguing they have to resolve themselves, try not to do anything that can influence the direction of their relationship. Sure, you can advise, but it's going to be difficult to be unbiased if you really are in love with him.

It sounds to me like you really are good friends, and I wonder whether it's worth ruining that?

X Dani

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talaniman · Oct 6, 2011, 02:28 PM

You are friends, don't cross that line. That will hurt. But is this friendship worth you being hurt? It's a tough position to be in and the honest truth will surely change things, because you both have entirely different feelings.

He loves another, for romance, you for a friend and sister, while you want more than just friendship. I think you tell your friend to leave you out of his romantic problems, and stop giving him advice. Sure he will wonder what happened, that's good, because he needs to stop using you as an emotional tampon he runs to when there is a problem.

I don't see this as a healthy friendship from the get go, and you get hurt, and cannot see, or pursue your own happiness. Settling for friendship, is no way to have a love. So protect yourself from being hurt.