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scoobydoo88 · Oct 2, 2011, 08:58 PM

My mother is 69 years old with respiratory issues due to mold in her basement apartment. My wife and I decided to buy a piece of land in country to build her a new home. Soon after we bought the land she started to bash me and my wife by saying things like : I think your brother could do better for me, she said we were to high class and asked us if we will be inspecting the house for scratches every week and so on. She is rude to my wife and I for reasons I don't understand. She never lived in a new house before and she always said the forest is the place she would like to be. She never said once during construction how happy she'll be or show her appreciation. I'm her youngest son of 4 boys and a daughter. My sister and one of my brothers are not doing well in life and she has the most repect for them. She is rude to us and I don't understand what we done wrong. My wife and I are really hurt from her comments. Are we missing something? Please help!

taxesforaliens · Oct 2, 2011, 09:15 PM

What a great thing to do for your mom!
Maybe she is behaving this way because she isn't used to accept help from someone and is ashamed that she needs help?
Why don't you talk to her?
If she doesn't like you/your wife she can always leave and ask your brother for a house ;-)

0rphan · Oct 5, 2011, 11:09 AM

I have to say your Mother sounds very ungrateful,if it were me I'd probably give her the option of staying in her flat if she is so against moving to a new house.

It's almost as if she is saying :"i'll have it but under protest".Adding:"this house will always really belong to you,no doubt you'll be checking on it's up keep on a a regular basis".

You would think from her attitude, that she despises the fact that you have done well in your life,where as some of your other brothers and sister seem to be just getting by.I think there is an element of guilt as well.To the rest of the family it appears that she has switched sides,whilst in her basement flat,no doubt she would complain constantly about the damp etc.The new house will have none of that, so in effect you've taken away her right to moan... which she obviously enjoys doing.

I think you just have to come right out and say to her:do you want to move in the new house or not? If she says yes, then tell her to stop being abusive to your wife and yourself.If she says no, then say OK, it will be put up for sale.