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cherrypie13 · Oct 2, 2011, 11:57 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he is a bit geeky a bit of a loner. I think the world of him. I don't have my own place so I go over to his all the time although only on weekends, he isn't very affectionate, we don't go out much and do stuff, we don't even have a lot of sex. He says he cherishes me and misses me but doesn't show it, he washes my car and pays for some things, calls me twice a day. I haven't seen him a great deal in the last two week and now he says he is going to a wedding next weekend ( he hasn't invited me) which means I won't see him for at least a week and he seems OK with that, am I wasting my time?

pandead · Oct 2, 2011, 01:10 PM

He washes your car, calls you twice a day, he says he misses you, but doesn't show it in the "affectionate way."

We all have different ways to show our feelings for someone, especially men are complicated in this area. It's been only 4 months, you can ask him to be more affectionate but remember you can't change people.

So if the way he shows his feelings is not enough for you, you have two options; take it or leave it. Remember what they say: Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they love you with all they have.

talaniman · Oct 2, 2011, 01:59 PM

If you have not spoken to him about what you expect then yes, you are wasting your time. He may be geeky but I doubt he is a mind reader.

Can you at least accept his ways as being just him, and not expect him to act as you want? If you cannot, then you are wasting your time, and his.

0rphan · Oct 2, 2011, 02:00 PM

Hi, cherrypie,

I think it's probably just the way he is.Perhaps you can arrange for the both of you to go out,even if it's only for a walk in the local park,take a pic-nic,go for a stroll holding hands, it could be very romantic.Maybe things have become a little stale, you always go to his place nothing is ever any different.I think you need to take the initiative here,you don't always have to stay in,go to the cinema, tell him there is a film you've been waiting to see and it's only showing for a few days.

It could be that if he is usually a loner,then he needs space at the weekends.Why not just be with him one day on the weekend and leave him to do his own thing on the other.On the day of the weekend you spend together he may be more than happy to go out ,knowing that he will have the following day to himself.

It maybe that the wedding he is going to, is invite only sent out by the couple concerned and he has no
Control over this, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.