[smiling4u]

We both like/love each other, but I don't want a relationship just yet. I had a talk about that with him. When we're out with our friends(he's really quiet), I want to go over to him and chat but I'm afraid of our friends watching us like eagles. They also have a passion for gossiping. I don't know what to do... Because he seems so sad when I act like that. I want to give him hug good byes but I don't. If I needed to do something, he would wait. I don't wait for him... I want to wait till junior year to have a relationship. We're only freshmen right now. I don't know if he'll wait that long. It's been a year since he liked me. I don't want to lose what we have. I miss being around him all the time. What can I do go build up my confidence... And any advice?

[LanteAn]

My advice would be tell him again that you're not looking for a relationship right now. But you must also run the risk of losing him forever because he will move on. How much do you really like this guy? If you really did like him/love him than would you really need to wait a couple years? I don't think so... You would just jump at the oppurtunity. I know this will be hard for you but you need to weigh the facts and use logic. Is this guy a "nice guy" that is going to treat you right and you love being around and could offer you loving and healthy relationship? Or is he just your safety net when the "badguys" out there break your heart.

You need to make a choice or just wait and see. Who knows maybe he will wait for you but you have to ask yourself if it's worth the wait and why your waiting at all? If it's love than jump at it!!

[Kahani Punjab]

Smiling4U, you seem to be in a country like INDIA or so, where the young people can't gather courage to speak out their mind, at least to 'whom they love' and more so if you are a girl, but if you are from US or Europe, you need to think twice about your behaviour, and why you are so. Still, human nature is common everywhere, no doubt, and at this stage of 'love at first sight', many problems arise. WAIT AND WATCH is not a good idea, dear, as there will be many others, waiting in the wings to 'get' him, and he too will/can't wait much, as he also needs 'love' and 'joy' of bond with opp-sex. Dear, gather courage, nothing hell will happen, no heaven will fall on you, if you 'do'. Just be with him, and feel the warmth of his company, and assess your love for him, and his for you and also if you are made-for-each-other or not. Work on this seriously, if you are serious about it!

Think clearly and rationally... Love begets love. Do not leave anything to time, chance or luck.

[talaniman]

Leave him alone to deal with his own feelings as anything you do to try and make him feel better will make things worse. Give him time and space and understand his hurt over your rejection. It will take time, and what you need is not confidence, but empathy, and understanding.

You may have good intentions, and want his friendship back, but trust me, he ain't ready for what you want, just as you are not ready for what he wants, so leave it be.