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SProbasco · Sep 15, 2011, 01:47 AM

My ex and I broke up when I was 8 weeks pregnant. He has not been around during the time of me being pregnant. We get the chance to text once a month when he feels like it ( because when I try he is to busy and wants to be left alone) all he can do it talk crap to me. I don't want my child to have his last name or his name on the birth ticket. And that just makes him even more mad.. I am almost due and I am stressing out on how I can keep her away from him.. He lives 3 hours away from me, is a full time collage student, in a frat( lives with 4 other frat boys), drinks, does drugs, and he can't stand being around babies. It scares me because his family has money and mine don't... Will this give him the upper hand.. Ahh I want to pull my hair out. I don't trust him and I don't want him taking my child to his party house or even be left alone with her! So, how can I prevent him from being around her?

ScottGem · Sep 15, 2011, 03:23 AM

You can't. Assuming he is the biological father he has rights. Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, w2hihc I don't see happening, if he chooses to exercise his rights there is nothing you can do about it.

You may be able to have his visitation supervised until the child is older. And, initially I doubt if he will be allowed overnights for a year or so.

I have to note that you felt this person was good enough to have sex with and the courts will look at that.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 15, 2011, 10:05 AM

You do not have to put his name on the birth certificate,

He can go to court and get a court order to be allowed to visit. If you can prove he is a danger to the chld, you may require they be supervised visits.

The fact that you hate him does not take away his rights to see his child.

In fact as he gets older he may want and even get joint custody. So go into this knowing he has rights, it is his child also. You chose him to be the father of your child.

SProbasco · Sep 18, 2011, 09:21 PM

Yeah he was good enough until he hit me and treated me poorly.. He is not a father! Where has he been that last 3 times I was in the Er? He don't text or call or ask how she is doing. If he does is once a month. Its not okay for a man to take on being a dad after she is born... I pay all my doctors bills and have grown up. While he is still drinking and being a kid. How is that being a father?

ScottGem · Sep 19, 2011, 03:14 AM

Originally Posted by SProbasco

yeah he was good enough until he hit me and treated me poorly.. He is not a father! Where has he been that last 3 times I was in the Er? He dont text or call or ask how she is doing. If he does is once a mounth. Its not okay for a man to take on being a dad after she is born.... I pay all my doctors bills and have grown up. While he is still drinking and being a kid. How is that being a father?

I understand your anger, but this is an issue of LAW, and you are looking at it from an emotional standpoint. The law says that the biological father has parental rights UNLESS it can be proven he is a danger to the child.

You say you have "grown up" and he hasn't. Well someday he may grow up too. And the courts do take that into account. So maybe he gets no visitation at first or, more likely, supervised visitation. And as time goes by he can show he can be a good father and get more visitation.

So the likelihood is, that if he goes to court to pursue his parental rights he will get them. You need to prepare yourself for that.