[bigdawg_dr3]

I have been divorced for about 3 1/2 yrs now, and my ex-wife and I have joint custoday of our 14 yr old son and 12 yr old daughter. My ex-wife married another woman (during the brief period that it was legal in CA), and according to the kids, they aruge all the time. The arguments have even gotten physical several times, and some have even ended with my ex-wife threatening suicide. Her significant other has even been cut by my ex-wife, while attempting to take a knife away from her during one of her episodes. As far as I know, neither one of them has ever called the police on the other, so there have probably been no reports filed or anything. My issue is that I don't have any physical proof that any of this is going on, I'm just going by what the kids are telling me, so I would assume it would be counted as hearsay. But if she is threatening suicide (AND wielding a knife, at times), would she be considered mentally unstable? And is mental unstability viable evidence that she is an unfit mother (even if it's not directed at the kids)? If so, is there anything I can do to try to gain custody of the kids and get them out of that situation, even though I don't have any physical proof of any of this? Please help!

[Horizons]

You don't need physical proof to inform the state that you are concerned with information that you are hearing from your children. Both are of the age that they can make an honest assessment of a situation. My advice would be to go to the courts or contact child protective services and tell them what you've heard from your children. It may not be viable in a court case but it can be used to have a social worker look into the matter. And, because of the age of your children, depending on where you now live they may be old enough to tell the story themselves and it be counted as witness testimony for a custody hearing. The laws are slightly different depending on where you are.

Best thing for you to do is talk to a social worker or someone at child protective services; that's what they're there for: to ensure the safety of our youth. If your ex-wife is wielding a knife in an argument, that's cause to be concerned. The common argument is this time it was her wife, what if next time she's mad at the kids? And will they get away with just a cut?